desiderata by Daniel O'Donell

its a very nice inspirational song, it keeps me feet on the ground.
and yeah at peace with life. contented.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right...
Desira - desiderata
Desidera - ta

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
And remember what peace there may be, in silence.
As far as possible without surrender,
Be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly,
And listen to others,
Even the dull and ignorant;
They too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
They are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
You may become vane and bitter;

For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
No less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Enjoy your achivements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
However humble;
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
For the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals;
And everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especialy do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the council of the years,
Gracefully serrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline;
Be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
No less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding;
As it should.

Therefore be at peace with god,
Whatever you conceive him to be,
And whatever your labours and aspirations,
In the noisey confusion of life,
Keep peace with your soul.

With all it's sham,
Drudgery and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.
Be careful. strive to be happy.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
You are a child of the universe.

St. Teresa of Avila

was busy preparing for the place, surrounded by much of greens and some angel figurines i put on hanging and some near those cute candles, and i thought of its time for me to rest, but before that i said to myself i want to pray in front her relic because i might not be able to do that the following day since people are going to swarm, there i saw her lying with flowers on her breast of course it has to be red roses, dress in her all time favorite vestment, she is nun, a doctor of the church, my patron saint.. and so i silently prayed for good health, guidance, for my family especially for my daughter, my baby inside, my husband, my brothers and sister and their families and my mom with eyes closed fervently praying, and then i touch her... and shocked that she moved!!! off i run so fast shouting "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and when i looked back i saw her coming after me... well the rush and everything that one felt being chased i felt. whew!... she reached me and i was like speechless, she asked me "anu na to ang gina pangayo mo?" (what was that you we're asking about?) and guess what i replied... "wala na lang, wala na lang" (nothing, nothing!) and I WOKE UP!... i laughed, and at the same time told my self that was my only chance to tell her everything and then i gotten so stupid. because i dunno what to do!... she's a saint and long been dead of course and her she is chasing me?... oh well it was just a dream but then i know that she is listening to my prayers, and my stories.. and my future life stories.
Prayer to St. Teresa of Avila
Lord, grant that I may always allow myself
to be guided by You,
always follow Your plans,
and perfectly accomplish Your Holy Will.
Grant that in all things,
great and small,
today and all the days of my life,
I may do whatever You require of me.
Help me respond to the slightest prompting of Your Grace,
so that I may be Your trustworthy instrument for Your honour.
May Your Will be done in time
and in eternity by me, in me, and through me. Amen.

A Prayer after Individual Confession (This beautiful prayer by St Teresa was found in a pamphlet in the Cathedral of Saint Matthew the Apostle, Washington, District of Columbia for a Communal Prayer Service. The service was lead by Theodore Cardinal McCarrick, Archbishop of Washington.)

Although I have often abandoned you, O Lord, you have never abandoned me. Your hand of love is always outstretched towards me, even when I stubbornly look the other way. And your gentle voice constantly calls me, even when I obstinately refuse to listen. When the sins in my soul are increasing, I lose the taste for virtuous things. Yet, even at such moments, Lord, I know I am failing you and failing myself. You alone can restore my taste for virtue. There are so many false friends willing to encourage sin. But your friendship alone can give the strength of mind to resist and defeat sin.

What a good friend you are, Lord! You are so patient, willing to wait as long as necessary for me to turn to you. You rejoice at the times when I love you, but you do not hold against me the times when I ignore you. Your patience is beyond my understanding. Even when I pray, my mind fills with worldly concerns and vain daydreams. Yet you are happy if I give only a single second of honest prayer, turning that second into a seed of love.

Oh Lord, I enjoy your friendship so much, why is it not possible for me to think of you constantly?

St. Teresa of Avila, Pray for Us.......

of motherhood. of mothers. ay ambot ah!

there came a time where i lost my respect and i hated so much. still i manage to weight everything down.
here's a not so fun moment, just one of those nasty days, where you wake up well pretty okey, since i have to drag myself from bed, since i feel so oh so sluggish, yeah another pregnancy diary that i have to ponder as every pregnancy differs from another. so this time its different. way different i may say. super different. with a nagging headache. a sleepy sleepy feeling most of the time, i just want to sleep, and dilly dally around with princess. read a book and sleep. eat something that won't leave any after taste yucky vomit feeling. had breakfast and some not so nice conversation started.
money. is the root of all evil. i don't think so, i think the one who handles the money has all the evil roots that spurs right after he/she have it right under his/her nose.... or wanting it spurs the evil in a person. not the money. hehehehehehehe.......jimminy cricket!
RESPECT
what really is respect?
according to merriam-webster - high or special regard : esteem : the quality or state of being esteemed plural : expressions of respect or deference respects>

question is does our parents deserve our respect after those known and unknown failures they have done, caused us some troubles sometimes?
i think yes, after all they are my parents, and i owe to them whatever or wherever i am now, and if i was hurt or was not cared for well or not given a chance to do whatever i wanted to do, or never had my good times then, they are still there for me, yeah some parents can be too i dunno but still they are parents and they bore you, by the mere fact that especially mothers(not being biased here) was so eager to carry us around for nine months bear with our being difficult when we we're young, took care of us literally, forgotten their own emotions, feelings trashing all that they wanted because they are so overwhelmed by your existence thru them , just by that, i know all i can give to my parents are my respect, there may be times that i hated my mother's idiosyncrasies, her lifestyle, how she cook, how she manages our home then, still she is mother, she cared for me for nine months while being so fragile inside her, and still took care of me after she bore me, and until now she is (though sometimes a bit eweness! but still she is my mother) i may hate her for being bias to us her children sometimes but hey she has all the reasons and by just that one reason because i am her child. i never had that so happy moments with my mother then, or a big bonding with her - - and i cannot blame her for that, i know in some way she nurtured me, though my heart is more of my fathers' but hey i know she loved me and she always does, and it pains her so much if i am in pain too. i know that. and behind all those mischief i did i know she masked it all because she loves me, we fight yeah because we love each other and we cannot let go of each other.
there was even a time i stand for what i believed in, and i went out of the house i know she is just waiting for me at home, i was just at my friends house was so stubborn of what happened, afternoon arrived and still i wasn't home, she went to where i am and having a stick on her hand, wanting me to go home, funny but yeah she wanted me to go home .... but that stick did not hit me, if i refused maybe i had it. but because she loves me much she is willing to give me that plack! of stick just me to go home and be well in her eyes. but that did not made me hate her, but i loved her, could you imagine how much she loves me?... hahah...
she wanted her respect, and i know how the wrath of mothers goes. once they commence what is to be done, if they are so furious of what is going on, whether your old or young, her chalangga, or the apple of the eye, they are mothers who gets hurt first, they will cry for you, beg for you... fight for you.
my mother is not perfect, she has some flaws too, but who are we to ask for a perfect mother?...
who are we to question their being our parents?... who are we to ask for a change of parents?
who are we to question what they did for us?....
love and respect is what they need.... they are our parents we owe our lives to them, she is my mother she did everything to let me live. she gave away her body to nurture me.

so this goes to my mother, sorry if i have caused you pain sometimes, sorry if i have been so stubborn, sorry if i have been so disrespectful of you of talking back at you, but hey i love you. and thank God you are my mother. because if not for you i won't be writing this. you are incomparable.
to my mother in-law, you did well of raising your children, because if not, i won't be marrying my husband! you deserve to be respected no matter what.
to all the mothers out there ( teary eyed na ko!) this earth is useless to live in if you are not around. because of you, life was never been better!...
to all the women.... we cry because we know how to love, we get hurt easily because we know how it feels, we feel because we are women! and we deserve to be cared and loved and get to have that hug!.... papa i miss your hug!.. huhuhu...
to all the men.... who always wanted to get attached to us wo-men!... thank you for loving us, and thank you for bearing with us your wives, and karma to you who do not respect us women...

some thoughts

happy yes i am. and i know im one of the happiest person in this whole damn world. wahahaha.
today is 07-24-2009, yup and i got it so positively positive.
God's blessing is really endless.
who could have thought?.. well we did, we love it. thats why its there.
ha.ha.ha. God really hears our fervent prayer.
and we know God will help us through whatever that will be.
because i believe God gives us what really our hearts desire,
and that he never gives us what we cannot carry.
charannnn....
and again the excitement is unexplainable.
i have so many worries.
worries not about the gift,
but with others.
of which i was thinkin' im not suppose to worry about that.
it should be nonsense to me now. since i have to form my own family
still i cannot hide the idea of i have to look back at those and ponder
and sometimes yea i have to say i was bitter
but then i tried holding on to what is essential.
above all those i know LOVE is in the air for me as always.
and that is what i have been my line ever since.
i have been hurt and i may have hurt someone along the way,
i may have made others to cry, or i have made others think negatively
towards me, but then i say to you, i don't hold your heart nor your brain
to think to feel like that, i may have caused it in purpose of which i am trying and tried not to,
im sorry, still LOVE is what i hold on to.
motherhood really gives you something so much of what is what if and what about.
my family is growing, and i have to teach them right values, together with my husband,
although yeah as of now im kinda confused over "Did i do the right thing?"
i don't think so, etc etc etc..
and so i have to give myself credit for that, since i have told myself that i cannot.
and i don't want to get hurt along the way or short and simple.
i am just trying to avoid and much evil side of me to be revealed.

thoughts are pointless. to others it is. to me perhaps.
i just want to let it go. and sleep well.

xoxo

hold on. still thinking,.

thoughts. aw...
but it seems that i need some quite time over that.

lately i have been so lame of going to the usual area of the city
the bank.
i dunno why. i just had this hmmmm.. do i need cash?
ha!ha!.. i guess the time i became a mom to princess, a single cent matters
now that what i call mommy diaries.
but when it comes to food i don't take any chances of keeping it in, as long as it is healthy.
what?.. healthy?
do i hear healthy food?.... hahah...
yes healthy food for her. for us?... nahhh for me for sure it would be like binge.
reasons now i know. because of my body and my brain tricked me of i need to eat because i lack of sleep.
excuses.
i have lots of them, even you can have loads of 'em.
food is now in check, hubby needs to have that healthy lifestyle.
come with the rainiest season ever! as for me.. yah... rainiest season ever.
so i have tracked down pilates/yoga mag i had like two years ago, to feel better ..
and yup i want to have that exercise ball... pink one ha!.. i need that..
the problem is... when i was about to start ( not yet bought that ball ha!) my yoga/pilates
comes mother of ours "baby...... lantawa anay!" ha! with urgency. take note with urgency.
hay okey get up from the position and look at what she wants.... wanting me to do something about her antiqu sewing machine,. and then when i wa sabout to go out to get me water, come hubby peeping out of the bathroom and asked for a towel.....
and i shush myself of saying... I CANNOT DO WHAT I WANT TO DO AND I NEED TO DO BECUZ YOU CANNOT DO WHAT YOU CAN DO!
only princess can do that to me.... and hell with all the mean things!... hehehe
to tell you frankly maaaaannnnn..... i did what they asked me.
happiness?.... scratched my head and head off!... and hug my baby and tell her i will buy her a snack food and a real food suits her and buy her juice too.

ahhhh walking along the road of bonifacio drive and thinking about her,..... consolation. i wanted to get out of the city and just take that long naps with her ...... not now. not this time of the year. raining. thunder. lightning. weather gone baaaaad...

i wish harold could call. and sing. just sing. hehehe speechless i am. so just call me and sing... toinks!

me and my baboy.

chismiss for those who know me well ... my wedding is not a blast but a memorable one for me and my hubby and stress free celebration, well thought of and yes we tried our damn very best to fill each others dream wedding, so we did some compromise and agreed for the future and for the best. we saved for the celebration, settled ourselves for the fund and made a pact for what we both truly believed .... becuz for us getting married is not just like buying a candy at the iloilo hall of justice for us .. considering we are both a catholic not that devout though but we believe in its sacredness, its blessing and what is beyond ... our love story i may say is a super roller coaster ride, but we survived and we joined hearts and heads to make it happen ... we have a very opposite family but we managed. we both have our individual differences .. we managed we compromise becuz we love. there are times that we are being pushed to our limits we struggled, i had sleepless nights, he has long hours of silence, we have different views, perceptions, and sometimes we do not believe in one thing. but we managed. becuz we love. .. and even up to now that we have princess to date 10months and a day old, we still have our differences, we still have different beliefs in just about something sometimes, he still doesn't like the idea of eating balot, my idea of buying shoes, idiosyncrasies of both our family, we laugh it off, the ideas or point of views of our friends that we really really do not like, but still they are our friends... we manage to keep our feet on the ground because that is where it belongs. and not to forget that love is what we need. we believe in these ( or i may say we agree!) love is what made us, so love will lead us through, because we love so we are here. because we love we have to endure!... no books to read and nothing to fancy about while i am playing farm town on FB.. and having this eyebrows to raise over employee inconsistency over job being done, and hubby is taking his time cracking his head over prices from supplier...
read read read read .... and then whoa~!..
Business - Dream wedding or starter fund? - INQUIRER.net

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DAVID FOSTER AND FRIENDS.....

usually i settle for yeah less,
and that could be like borrowing a friend's collection and grab it over and download it to my iPod.. but now?.. nohh.. with the man i know who is soo soo like god of all music hits.. he is the hit man yes...
DAVID FOSTER.... i bought his cd/dvd album.. ha.. not so me to spend that cash over .. i spend that cash normally over shoes and some things and restaurants.. now i want it real!.. hmm let me say this ORIGINAL hahah im a pirate too you know i admit.. but then it all ends on one corner of my house and trying to enjoy the regualr days of pulling one a dn trying to listen to each every note and yeah heart it. and so i have this YOU'RE THE INSPIRATION the music of DAVID FOSTER and FRIENDS.. and listening and watching to it is like im in the circle of that friends... my happiness with david started out when my friend harold shared me his music .. the water fountain.. and i fell inlove. and then i get to search for the internet for the album and well beg my sister or my mum to get me a copy, hello i live in the philippines and his music is like all in a soundtrack and he has albums that i don't know where to grab it.. haha.. luckily i got some good friends who shares the same what i call passion and yeah share music too... from the movie of oprah yeah the color purple, the st elmo's fire and many...
i was pregnant with princess and that water fountain music is my company together with andrea boccelli's when we beleive of which i cannot beleive that is david... i call it THAT IS DAVID...
from his line of artists that made music really a music is a wonder!... im falling in love with you david. falling inlove more with his music.
and just before i left home to open business and yeah its friday we are having our breakfast over the dvd concert of DAVID and friends, me and my baby princess yup she is sooo staring at the pc monitor while DAVID is playing.... and i saw her fingers tapping like doing a piano... ain't that sweet?... oh well i have to save now for that piano lesson plus cielo of which my hubby loves... ahhah but of course she has to choose ... i know princess loves music much since she stays still whenever she hears andrea, celtic women esp chloe and then yup funny micheal buble' sings.. and she do duet with me... hahah and so i heart david foster....

ang mga bagay-bagay nga naga gumon sa akun ulo.

ay grabe guid .. az in!
ang bana ko ara sa samar leyte subong, te kundi kmi lang ni princess, tas boring na kay permi lang kmi duha ni princess ma wait kay tatay nya arriving from work.. te subong i look forward of going home alone, te daw ka boring, i called hubby and told him that, ha now i have realized that our world evolved around each other's nga kung la gni ang isa daw we have to adjust, though i have thought about it weeks before that this week we'll be with princess alone since hubby is going to samar for the caving congress, may iban nga naga hambal nga tani hubby shoudl spend time with princess instead of goign somewhere, okey that's their opinion, i welcome that, but they do not know. huo gni they know nothing. iya na ya time for his self i give that to him, he needed that time off, bisan kita gni we asked for a time off man, in a diff style of course kay te lain lain man kita iya nga tinuga, hay te kung indi kmo ya ka intindi te la ko ya may mahino sina kay amun na ina ya na istryahan, kag wala man sya gapabaya sg iya obligasyun, so let him be. and as for me i love enduring things. he he he he .... kaya ko ni.. i alwasy tell myself that. and then i am bugged by the idea of some people nga they can afford to splash and splish and swish .. dayun la sial kablo nga ang ila nanay or tatay naga pinangabudlay, kag sila man lang na ang gina saligan or yeah well indi man guid abi salig no pero the thing is you ahve to look back for your parents as a sign of respect and of course i knw we know nga we cannot retrun what they ahve done for us.. its immesurable. i tell you. it is immesurable. i know that right after i got married, since before i got married i managed to understand fully well how my family works in order for me to understand and get it done and correct it if ever it lands on my turf, and also how my hubby's family works too at least my kodigo na ako sa life ... as to why this thing leads to this .. the reasons behind, or the what i call the behind the scenes that became the "it"... causes more troubles and etc, so back to family matters, as for me i cannot bare or even try to connect the iea of not looking after my mom, yeah we had some episodes we still have some episodes, but then let then have thier own idea if they won't heed you, like my mom we usually argue over respect of elders whatever the cost becuz they are elders, awecomeon its a very long process for em to think and assure myself that it will be fine, after the events and etc etc.. but NOH... im haunted or i mean my brain haunts it for like..."what the f)(U&* are you?";... yeah and then it runs like a last song syndrome, te kung older ka sa akun be it 15 years 20 years or 40 years or more... if you cannot even respect my decision or you keep on being a slob or a mr know it all or the ms im greater than yah, or what do you think of me stupid?.. well i think i ahve to back off and re thing and re evaluate the situation.. i did something that made you think that you are or what welll im sorry i think i have to take that back... becuz you are not!... i tell you salot ka alng sa banwa. you are not helping but you are putting everything down. this happens to me everytime i go downside. now that my mom is here with me, i talk to her and ask her.. look at that... see i told you, mom i can be a goody goody one but please don't step in if you know nothing of my principles. i know how to respect people, i can be plastic and i can be whatever i want to be as long as i am not stepping onto no one, im happy with my disposition in life that makes me more secure as far as i ahve known. i never dared use my family's name in vain or have caused pain to anyone, so far i have live life fullest nad have given great joy to my parents ... i have been a good aunt .. a daughter and now a mom and a wife... im no perfect i can say that sometimes at the end of my day i aked myself if all are worth it.. its not doubt its just a stepping on my ground trying to check reality as i have been living in fantasy inorder for me to live the life i want and yes i am having it. life is hard and very very unfair, but what can we do?... what can i do?... i want to live.. so i have to live... trying to be fair still. so go back to the thing of looking after parents.
i grew up with a very dysfuntional family. teleserye everynight and then abangan sa next night or afternoon pa alng. te sadya man wala man ko maano, but did you know that i made that my stepping stone in life?.. i laugh and i try to understand why .... still i know i will make a diff and correct the past... so i am correcting it. ponks!

SPH-OPD-Pedia

i forgot the names of the two fag.. i know the resident pedia she's ms. fernandez(ob cors dra.!)
went to my pedia saturday get me baby for check up becuz the whole night she has this 39.8 fever that did not calm down with that every 4hours paracetamol and then she threw up and that hubby was holding her and i get to give her a sponge bath trying to manage the temperature. we made it so the reason why the doctor visit is necessary, becuz im a mother, i have the feelings ... was advice by my pedia for CBC-platelet and yes i got the result in no time and the med-tech who pricked her was so careful, thanks ms. neline, according to my pedia my baby has viral echus... and it might be dengue, so i was adviced to water therapy my baby .. giving her pedialite to replinish the fluids, and on monday will be having dengue rapid test, aptt and protime test, okey....
sunday came and her fever is gone.. she again is back into her upsy upsy state but still with a funny feeling perhaps with her teething galore... but im sure that teething got nothin' to do wit virus right?... so texted my pedia and asked if we are going to have that dengue rapid test, aptt and protime.. and she said she needs to see my baby, so there we go and yep we have to get that tests done to rule out the dengue.. and so i tokk her to SPH for that test, before that my pedia told me that the resident docotr should perform the extraction becuz she is just 8months... and so i went to laboratory, explained to them that my pedia said it has to be resident doc, so they( the laboratory persons) told me to go to OPD pedia, off i went with my yaya bell;s and mother inlaw, she came with us. and so i went isinde that small entrance and asked the man about extraction for my baby, and he said " pwede ni kayang kayang, hu kay daku na iya veins... tornike bla kay e check ta.!" i asked " are youa resident doc?"
and he replied, indi mam, pero pwede ako sina ak perform"... i was thinking hanginon ka karun nga intern ka ah, but becuz i want to move with grace (accdg to my papa mons) so i told him nicely but bitchly.. my pedia said it has to be a resident doc, if i have to wait i will wait. still he hold out the tornike put it on to my baby, and checked the veins and the other stupid fag checked also the veins, so they are so happy that they know (fuck!) here comes doc fernandez and todl me "baby mo?" i said yes .. i think she is from hwa siong high school, i cannot recall pa but yea she is i think, so she told me, i cannot perform becuz i took salbutamol, and she'll be watching, as for me of course i know how salbutamol works becu i take that too to calm my heart hahah actually i shiver and rush hour with palpitate, and so i said okey...
baby was wrapped in a blanket,, while im trying to be strong for her, whle the intern takes the stage.. hearing my baby cry makes me feel like helpless with .. i know i am doing whats best for her, i know she will not be liking it but i need her and i have all the reasons... madugay pa nga tuslok tuslok... and then okey what a relief when she pulled the syringe, drain the blod with the tube with a liquid for it not to hemolyzed, and the otehr one for the other tests, comforted my crying helplessly baby, and then asked mother inlaw if she could take the sample at the laboratory...went home had lunch
went back to office, 4pm went to lab to pick up the result only to find out that the lab girl told me that the blood hemolyzed, i said how could that be?... i told the lab girl, "inday kahibalo ikaw nga ng bata ko walo pa lng kabulan?" (girl, do you know that my baby is just 8months?) and she is like "te mam gusto mo dal-un mo siay di subong kay dire na lng sya natun kuhaan, and i said ha?.. my pedia told me that it has to be a resident doc, if i cannot depend on your resident doc or intern, how much more here?... and before she utter words, i asked nicely i want a refund, i will bring my baby to other hospitals... good thing she let me have the refund.. or i shall call my lawyer... yes i know i can sue them' for not performing thier duty... what if my baby is in critical mode?.. and here those fags which they have to be ding their job right is soo such an assholed faggots!... furious i was, walked away and wanted to call sr. rosario, but i calmed down, and wanted to think of the goodness and the situation of my baby, went to doctor's and my baby got her tests there and yes the blood hemolyzes becuz it was the worng kind of blood, but how come the resident doc and those faggot interns did not knew it?... morons. and now im curisng the idea of gettin in SPH as a patient...
te anu na lang to abi kung nagdulom kalibutan ko and track them down and blah blagh blah.... i so hate them, if ever a frend will get admitted in that hospital will look for them and tell them right there in their faggot face!... fag! fag!... gdnight.

still singin'

singin' a not so ordinary song for me and im pretty sure its not that ordinary as it can be heard from station to stations that is if you don't have a player in your car or you are so dead stuck in your ipod. but anyways yes if i were a boy.. still rings in my head.
had one shot fo tequila 10.40pm... arghhh the taste that taste i must say... sweet tempting taste...
yeah ... so selfish of me... but i made sure hubby is watching her... and i needed that shot.. i wanted that shot... like forever... when was the last time 2007?.. yeah december 25th 2007 and i got pregnant of my princess
and now this will be my first... and i become a newbee and my brain again oozes wth lots of words and hurts that streams... still able to think of the goodness of one... yes bert you are so right...
men are so afraid to admit that they made mistakes... and we women are so madrama with admitting if we had committed... but yeah i haven't been in that situation since i don't have any to confess to. .. still bullied by the thought of " how about me!" ha! its as if like a shiet.. that movie wher beyonce' starred... hmmm yes dreamgirls... so right dream girls... go dream girl!.. and yer going to bump your head right there smack down... boink! what about me?.... martyrdom thus add to the awards of being a wife and a mother.. i had seen that coming yep... i grew up in a very very very dysfunctional family and yes im so prooud to say that because it helped me know the real deal fo life and my family?.. i so love them... thus the cycle of please no! martyrdom but for it has a twist... " pagusto ka!" as long as i have my baby... martyrdom in a horror scene where i let it slip and expect nothing to return... well it returns... and i hear no sorry.... poll questions?... shiet who would answer such poll questions from men?>.... dang!... brain freeze!... gdbye!...
thus the beginning of headaches and depressed moments.... if i were a boy....

If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man I'd listen to her 'Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taking you for granted And everything you had got destroyed