St. Teresa of Avila

was busy preparing for the place, surrounded by much of greens and some angel figurines i put on hanging and some near those cute candles, and i thought of its time for me to rest, but before that i said to myself i want to pray in front her relic because i might not be able to do that the following day since people are going to swarm, there i saw her lying with flowers on her breast of course it has to be red roses, dress in her all time favorite vestment, she is nun, a doctor of the church, my patron saint.. and so i silently prayed for good health, guidance, for my family especially for my daughter, my baby inside, my husband, my brothers and sister and their families and my mom with eyes closed fervently praying, and then i touch her... and shocked that she moved!!! off i run so fast shouting "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and when i looked back i saw her coming after me... well the rush and everything that one felt being chased i felt. whew!... she reached me and i was like speechless, she asked me "anu na to ang gina pangayo mo?" (what was that you we're asking about?) and guess what i replied... "wala na lang, wala na lang" (nothing, nothing!) and I WOKE UP!... i laughed, and at the same time told my self that was my only chance to tell her everything and then i gotten so stupid. because i dunno what to do!... she's a saint and long been dead of course and her she is chasing me?... oh well it was just a dream but then i know that she is listening to my prayers, and my stories.. and my future life stories.
Prayer to St. Teresa of Avila
Lord, grant that I may always allow myself
to be guided by You,
always follow Your plans,
and perfectly accomplish Your Holy Will.
Grant that in all things,
great and small,
today and all the days of my life,
I may do whatever You require of me.
Help me respond to the slightest prompting of Your Grace,
so that I may be Your trustworthy instrument for Your honour.
May Your Will be done in time
and in eternity by me, in me, and through me. Amen.

A Prayer after Individual Confession (This beautiful prayer by St Teresa was found in a pamphlet in the Cathedral of Saint Matthew the Apostle, Washington, District of Columbia for a Communal Prayer Service. The service was lead by Theodore Cardinal McCarrick, Archbishop of Washington.)

Although I have often abandoned you, O Lord, you have never abandoned me. Your hand of love is always outstretched towards me, even when I stubbornly look the other way. And your gentle voice constantly calls me, even when I obstinately refuse to listen. When the sins in my soul are increasing, I lose the taste for virtuous things. Yet, even at such moments, Lord, I know I am failing you and failing myself. You alone can restore my taste for virtue. There are so many false friends willing to encourage sin. But your friendship alone can give the strength of mind to resist and defeat sin.

What a good friend you are, Lord! You are so patient, willing to wait as long as necessary for me to turn to you. You rejoice at the times when I love you, but you do not hold against me the times when I ignore you. Your patience is beyond my understanding. Even when I pray, my mind fills with worldly concerns and vain daydreams. Yet you are happy if I give only a single second of honest prayer, turning that second into a seed of love.

Oh Lord, I enjoy your friendship so much, why is it not possible for me to think of you constantly?

St. Teresa of Avila, Pray for Us.......

of motherhood. of mothers. ay ambot ah!

there came a time where i lost my respect and i hated so much. still i manage to weight everything down.
here's a not so fun moment, just one of those nasty days, where you wake up well pretty okey, since i have to drag myself from bed, since i feel so oh so sluggish, yeah another pregnancy diary that i have to ponder as every pregnancy differs from another. so this time its different. way different i may say. super different. with a nagging headache. a sleepy sleepy feeling most of the time, i just want to sleep, and dilly dally around with princess. read a book and sleep. eat something that won't leave any after taste yucky vomit feeling. had breakfast and some not so nice conversation started.
money. is the root of all evil. i don't think so, i think the one who handles the money has all the evil roots that spurs right after he/she have it right under his/her nose.... or wanting it spurs the evil in a person. not the money. hehehehehehehe.......jimminy cricket!
RESPECT
what really is respect?
according to merriam-webster - high or special regard : esteem : the quality or state of being esteemed plural : expressions of respect or deference respects>

question is does our parents deserve our respect after those known and unknown failures they have done, caused us some troubles sometimes?
i think yes, after all they are my parents, and i owe to them whatever or wherever i am now, and if i was hurt or was not cared for well or not given a chance to do whatever i wanted to do, or never had my good times then, they are still there for me, yeah some parents can be too i dunno but still they are parents and they bore you, by the mere fact that especially mothers(not being biased here) was so eager to carry us around for nine months bear with our being difficult when we we're young, took care of us literally, forgotten their own emotions, feelings trashing all that they wanted because they are so overwhelmed by your existence thru them , just by that, i know all i can give to my parents are my respect, there may be times that i hated my mother's idiosyncrasies, her lifestyle, how she cook, how she manages our home then, still she is mother, she cared for me for nine months while being so fragile inside her, and still took care of me after she bore me, and until now she is (though sometimes a bit eweness! but still she is my mother) i may hate her for being bias to us her children sometimes but hey she has all the reasons and by just that one reason because i am her child. i never had that so happy moments with my mother then, or a big bonding with her - - and i cannot blame her for that, i know in some way she nurtured me, though my heart is more of my fathers' but hey i know she loved me and she always does, and it pains her so much if i am in pain too. i know that. and behind all those mischief i did i know she masked it all because she loves me, we fight yeah because we love each other and we cannot let go of each other.
there was even a time i stand for what i believed in, and i went out of the house i know she is just waiting for me at home, i was just at my friends house was so stubborn of what happened, afternoon arrived and still i wasn't home, she went to where i am and having a stick on her hand, wanting me to go home, funny but yeah she wanted me to go home .... but that stick did not hit me, if i refused maybe i had it. but because she loves me much she is willing to give me that plack! of stick just me to go home and be well in her eyes. but that did not made me hate her, but i loved her, could you imagine how much she loves me?... hahah...
she wanted her respect, and i know how the wrath of mothers goes. once they commence what is to be done, if they are so furious of what is going on, whether your old or young, her chalangga, or the apple of the eye, they are mothers who gets hurt first, they will cry for you, beg for you... fight for you.
my mother is not perfect, she has some flaws too, but who are we to ask for a perfect mother?...
who are we to question their being our parents?... who are we to ask for a change of parents?
who are we to question what they did for us?....
love and respect is what they need.... they are our parents we owe our lives to them, she is my mother she did everything to let me live. she gave away her body to nurture me.

so this goes to my mother, sorry if i have caused you pain sometimes, sorry if i have been so stubborn, sorry if i have been so disrespectful of you of talking back at you, but hey i love you. and thank God you are my mother. because if not for you i won't be writing this. you are incomparable.
to my mother in-law, you did well of raising your children, because if not, i won't be marrying my husband! you deserve to be respected no matter what.
to all the mothers out there ( teary eyed na ko!) this earth is useless to live in if you are not around. because of you, life was never been better!...
to all the women.... we cry because we know how to love, we get hurt easily because we know how it feels, we feel because we are women! and we deserve to be cared and loved and get to have that hug!.... papa i miss your hug!.. huhuhu...
to all the men.... who always wanted to get attached to us wo-men!... thank you for loving us, and thank you for bearing with us your wives, and karma to you who do not respect us women...