i blew it up

i cannot hold it anymore... and so i rant!.... she got what she really wanted and hopefully got to learn from it...

just viewing it all

i never dared to check on its details anymore... i got so jealous over nothing... of course im entitled to such emotion since my hormones are so wacko!. but then it is such a lame excuse to use... but yes i am a jelly person, i admit. ITMS... whatever that means.. heheh i would want to describe it in full details but no.. it is a great illusion if i do.. and then bang! it could all be in my dreams....it could be.. it will be and it had been.... and so ?.... so special.... so yummy and melts in your mouth sylvannas at dulcenitas and some food cravings which i would want to prepare in my house but no... im not going to.. since i have to lessen carbs and sugars and those that would makes us both bloat... so i shall end up with sinabawan na fish with kamote.. hmm healthy?... glowing!... bilaysing sa tuod lang grabeh guid yah hidlaw ko... as in teary eyed pa!.. te ikaw na da binag binag.... oh by the way sent out cards for everyone i miss.. if you got it then you are the one!!!
the list of people in my head... whom i would want to hug and just be in silent for while.....
not in order!
papa bee
nanay ko nga guapa!
achie
sih-yah
mga mommies
baw si chuna
ay teh si tibo( this guy is so funny he was like spreading the news that i already delivered princess and that princess is already one month old!)
ahh si richard ( busy little boy blue.. ngek!)
si wenzy(oh we've met alreaaa are talkin' like life's and being sobber! thanks for the cutie dress!)
si mawie( ohh i envy your body babeh!... harharha.. few months na alng... and i'll be riding my bike! and oh happy birthday today! 06-27-2008 yer 23!!!!!)
aw!!! george!...
hai hai hai.....robert!
charan!.. lenj!!!
did i miss?.... now i miss!!!...

just because

give me one kiss and i'll be happy.... this keeps on singing inside me head... and usually i would ask hubby if he knows the singer since he is an old school romantic heart stinger! heheeh so we both scram over internet and we both like the song... and he told me that they are haing concerts in mnila now... SO WHAT! (sour graping!) te te te te... the lyrics goes like this and it does comforts me eh...

It's right that I should care about you
 And try to make you happy when you're blue
 It's right, it's right to feel the way I do
 Because, because I love you

 It's wrong to say I don't think of you
 'Cause when you say these things
 You know it makes me blue

 Give me one kiss and I'll be happy
 Just, just to be with you
 Give me, give me, a chance to be near you
 Because, because I love you

so its like swoon!!!! and hubby kissed me!... hheheh that is soo cool... 
and then another song.. i never dream someone like you could want someone like me!.
achtung!... i miss! 

dear ones

OMG... Hello,
i thought it was easy to just brush it off my shoulder.... ISSUE... it has long been an issue and i have to put an end to it.
okey the story goes like this, its all about me being a tita - - comeon guys you know how much i appreciate being of a help to everyone especially to my family, but things gets a little bit too hard to handle for me since i have to set my priorities but still this bothers me. MARY STEPHENIE my neice, the person i cared for too since she grew up with us since she was like 3 years old, and left by her mom and dad... yes she was special... and treated her with utmost care and trained her for some future and i dunno what went wrong along the way.. syempre tita lang ako, i have to be open to possibilities of twist and turn and get hurt along the way and learn on the process, and so i got pregnant i never expected though but its a blessing and it is very well welcomed with joy and pride to have my own, but still i want to take care and see her grow up as a very well rounded person.. but then it seems that i noticed that its not workin'...
tragic!... typhoon frank hit iloilo, by 2am in the morning i woke up due for the fact that i cannot just lie my back or rest me self in side position while that wind howling and rain and no power and yes.. uneasy i was, i woke up check on the house, since my brother was stranded at bacolod, and hubby was so sound asleep so i get to walk around the house and check, to find out that the water sips in the rims of the window sills, and tried to put some rags absorb the water .... and then i went back to sleep..morning came 06-21-2008 i woke up 8.30am.. and ask hubby if he could just drop off the key to shop and then back home and have breakfast together, but so unlucky technician's text messages came flooding in our cellphone that their houses roofs we're blwon off - - - and so we have to close.. and then we knew that typhoon frank is hitting on us... and then i went around the house again to check - - i was so furious upon knowing that in the room of my neice( which is my former room) the water are sipping in and the floor is wet.. and her books and notebooks are scattered on the floor, and she was still so sleeping in dreams... and i prodded her to wake up and fix her room and that i alerted her that there is a typhoon.. and she was like duh... WALA GUID SIYA PAKI_ALAM... and so i just calm my way out and then do waht i am supposed to do and thought of perhaps maybe i am just kinda irritable over the idea of her attitude and that my moods are affected since i am pregnant. so i just took and gulp my patience and count to ten and then gulp a glass of water--- and days of being stuck inside the house(though not really stuck since i get to do help hubby's sister and brother and his lola and lolo being stranded in thier homes due for the flash flood so i get to drive hubby since i cannot make hubog hubog the area so i drove him off to nearby) and so i monitored her(stephenies attitude during those times.. and she was like just flying around the house and have no concern at all that he father is in deep sea and cannot go out of their house since the water level went up to thier stairs and few inches away that'll be in thier house and that her tow siblings are their.. and i find it helpless... and she was just like flying aroudn the house as if nothing happend. so i prodded her to do some things but to no avail she just opt to read and sleep... that really made me so freakin' furious.... i just kept in silent until the following day - and then i asked her if she still have some undies, and her uniforms are ready.. and she said AMBOT... and asked the helper to fix it up for her.. and i got so freakin' fired up... since i know the helper has been doing all around the house, cooking , getting water since power is out so we have to get some pail of water from the well, and i told her to wash your clothes and that'll just dry by air... and so she did, but still she has someother plans like going to attend a dance practice and it sounded so bullshit to me since everyone is so like in destress and she can still of going to a dance practice?... she was bombarded by her uncle my brother and was saying some negative things like -- maanu ka to sa muni nga sitwasyun budlaya ng mga jeep or taxi becuz of a typhoon, and lots of people are not yet identified and are dead and still she can think of the dance practice, some even have no food and then she was told that she has been practicing that dance practice and perhaps a one day absent won't be a sin.. but still she went her way... and she feels so proud --- i was trying to anaylyze things that perhaps sometimes i too gets so hard headed that this gets into my nerves... but still no, since she is under our roof and she is staying with us she has to be desciplined... but she is so reluctant and it hits me right up shooting my bloddpressure and gets into my nerves..... and this gets me freak' out..
what am i to do?.... should i just let her be?... ha.. natk-an na ko mag ugtas since i might deliver my baby if this still keeps on... but i pity her since she is a girl and she has so much to offer in the future or i may be too hard on her?... or she is soo just being ahrd headed?... she is so ...arghhh.... and so i formulated this idea of if she will ask me or inform me about her whereabouts i would just tell her "indi ka mag lisensya sa akun, pagusto ka kung anu obrahun mo -- kag kung anu matabo sa imo bahala ka... kay wala ka gapamati and you don;t care"... to end my agony over her, and that since my big priority now is not her and that my family...
]though thisidea hurts since i know its not me.. but i have to inorder for her to move ona nd my life to move on and soon im gonna have my own baby to take care... i am only her aunt and can do nothing more than that.

yes its you...

ikaw ang aking pangarap.... as if.. effin is o miss the idea of having astro!... and so princess is kicking in, she is so quick and strong inside...
so whats the news how did the travel go?...
i went to watch movie with mubby yes we are back on movie addictions... its like last week we went to movie also i get to watch at the end part my ironman!... robert downey!... at the end part of the movie hulk starred by edward norton as bruce and liv tyler ( the liv tyler!) as elizabeth ross, wow.. that was so fantastic... and then just this week i went to watch kung fu panda.. yowzah!... inner peace and the secert ingridient is nothing - yes nothing just by being you.. what oua re et cetc etc ....Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present... arghhh these thoughts are so worth a person's 30minutes to ponder and re thing and re evaluate what life is... ohh goshheyyy... and my neice bea loved the story .... and so princess kicks in smoothly... and when she hears a whole new world song?.. wow... as if she glides inside me... whoa the best is coming.. still im missing astro.. but i know astro is damn okey!.. mwuah! effin miss you much!.. see yah in ym.. teeeee.. updates please....so blog! blah blah blah... and please picture.... tenk you..

pregnancy diary...

I cannot stand the heat. so I was provided with aircon daily, and two to three hours during night time.

I am taking a bath more than 15minutes now .... I prefer to use only dove, ivory, safeguard and irish spring soap. oh well i have been an avid user of dove and ivory.. more so now....

I cannot stand the smell of another person the smell of men having to sweat the whole day and works in grease like smell... in fact I realy don't mind at all then haaaa.. now I do... I just hold my breath...

I hate to see my favorite fishball vendor since i cannot risk eating fishball for now since i cannot afford that my baby to be at risk...

I cannot bear the fact that there are some people who want me to try wearing daster dress... ngak! ayaw me...

i have to sleep sometimes in a reclined position and yes no no no i cannot lie on my front... huhuhh...

i have noticed that princess (this what i call now my baby) loves the music of beethoven no.5... she is so adorable when she lightly kicks in and the feeling of perhaps she is learning to do piano inside me tummy... soo cute...

everyone is super excited you know why?... i know why... becus i am hvaing a baby girl... my sister is so excited nad she loves princess hmmmm more than she loves me already i think... and my mom is sooo super grandma.. she is innovating everything to fit stuffs to my baby princess .... by the way mom i call her princess becus i know back then tatay loves the idea of calling a baby girl princess and she used to call me that too and also the first girl in the family... and this i want to scream to the whole world... my aunt who si in australia.. the one i call mother australia... so super excited that she bought princess dozens of nappies... and some clips that goes with the diaper.. they are just soo cute... even my sister inlaw in new york... although i have already some stuffs you know those what is really needed are already in the bag and yes super ready anytime with all the papers needed for the hospital except for the OB's recommendation... but ev eryone is juts so super excited... from diapers, to clothes, to pillows, to colors, to baby bottles, to cribs, to strollers, baby comforters, whoa! princess is so so so princess already... and my hubby yes is soo overwhelmed super excited.. also my mothers here in iloilo and so some friends and the dads of princess ( daddies: HF, LGA, RBA, RSD, JFR) and princess' mothers are: mother renz and mother marie.. whoot whooot!!!! whooot!!!....

and yes most of the time i miss roxas people, but still they are with me in spirit.. they are always with me... huhuhh i miss them and will be missing most chuna!... hugs hugs... mwuah mwuah mwuah... these are the times where i just want to cry for help!... and so all those happy memories i have with them all the high hopes and well wishes they gave me and they still give me those i know.. with lots of prayers.. and i am so thankful having found them along the way... along my way....no.. God was so right that they came in such a perfect way... perfect time perfect friendship i have and will be.... arghhh emo moments... and so pregnancy have emo moments...

oh by the way hubby asked me what is the reaction of my papa, i rolled my eyes and perhaps... happy and yes he congratulated me when i informed him of me having a baby girl...and he asks also how is my baby inside.. healthy?... etc etc... although yes i do expect much from him, but i have to stop the expect thingy since ahhh reasons .... segi lang ah.. love ya ko gyapun ah... that makes me comfortable... assured guid yah...

the end part is... i am pregnant and that although it is part of being pregant to be emote emote but the truth is i am really a very emotional person... and i love life... and i love loving... whooootttt....

whats goin' on my mind....

i never knew. i never thought. i was wrong.
went to gym freaky thrice a week sweat out all the hard core exercise after my sister went back to US after the wedding, dang i was so sure i'll be slimmer... i thought!
came december 24 christmas had some tequila at its best and the following day went out of town to do gift giving... long trip bumpy ride... fun since i have my family with me to back me up for my cause!... and became our cause!.....
days passed -- i never missed my gym work outs... and then i realized i never got my period...
still that woprry thing is out of me for that time since i thought perhaps hormal since i suddenly change my lifestyle...
last weeks of december spent much of pregnancy test and results came out negative...
january first and then whala!!!.. happy new year and happy baby inside!
still took some series of test and yes... i am so pregnant.....
i am so glad happy and extreme emo over being pregnant...
but those tequila nights made me worry...
and then came my morning sickness for the first trimester,.,,,.... heavy heavy.. i lost ten pounds... and then... came the next few months and still i cannot have that very good appetite
instead i just eat what is there... forcing me self to eat since i have baby inside...
took all the supplements....
and then./..... wala i just want o blog this out....

and now i have ababy girl inside.. and im so happy.... hubby and i are sooo blessed....
and she shall be called princess.....
emo emo...
emo emo
emo emo.......

fulfillment is.....

having to see mybaby ... all her activity inside my womb, how delicate ...
mostly God's great blessing, His perfect timing, His perfect will.... His perfect gift.....

preggy updates... husband feeling awful!

see i got a good shot!! taken at IDH while cheering hubby up becuz he felt soo bored at the hospital, he was confined ... due to stress.. oinks!.. lotsa reasons...

and so here he is..bored.....super bored





and then all the labs went negative... great!






just thinking about how it would be?... expense, quotations, orders, repairs,and so he has to bear those IV's of antibiotics.. during his stay... huhuhuh