and i have decided.
just moving forward.
little by little.
no, im not trying to forget the past, in fact i am always thinking of the past.
and it gives me comfort that i am working my way out of those webs i made,
it took a while - well it will take more time rather. but im happy.
these past few days i have been seeing some ghosts. :P
closure?
after all these years?
and another closure?
after all these years, ?? there was never US.. so what is there to reconnect? aha...
misunderstandings. ... oh well... there are just some things that seriously needs some points on it was better that way....
anyway saving my best for the rest of the days i would be living perhaps.
love is all there is.
xoxo
Saturday, July 14, 2018
..... unknown
these thoughts came rushing when i came across the thread of tita.
its all about married life... the bickering and the facade of life is great when you are married, or the people around you tells you to get a man.. have kids.. etc etc etc.. all about married
i may say reality of life starts when you get yourself a real husband/wife, the one you said I DO, i think it very far diff from those partners they may call, its very diff, you treat each other very diff i think when you both are really married. there is a bond between wherein you two cannot know what is in it.. esp when you both are married in church, or i may think so. perhaps that is the grace, that the two doesn't know.. but its in that joining of one person to another person, not just joining for the sake of getting to know each other until the time you both realize that its all just casual chu-chus.. that you both end up like friends with benefits, then you set each other free and you go around searching again for the right one as if you will find the right one, married is more than that i think, from my own perspective, marriage is a vocation. for me as a wife.. its not finding the right one, its more of like making the one right and at the same time growing with them ( i say with them becuz i got kids already), and if i say part of me wasn't sure of getting hitched its becuz part of that is God's unknown grace... me and my husband may have some occasional fights, we sometimes settle things, but normally we don't perhaps that's why we learn.
everyday we both constantly learning from each other even though we've been like 8years of courtship and 2years and 11months married. i cried, he would give me silent dish, but then its part of what i have signed and promised when i married him and before God's ... i may be hypocrite to say i don't have flaws, i too have flaws i know that, i have my usual inadequacy i may say, its just that im too open with all the possibilities of people will understand me its becuz i accept the reality of me, the reality of life. i have friends, i have family, i have extended family, my circle is somewhat like a crazy maze.. but since everyone is open to possibilities and willing to embrace... life goes on.. after all those backlogs and back subjects in my life.. .. i know i learned.
the question is
what about the maturity of a man who want to stay single and would take the risk of being a single parent?
few of men can do this, thats why we women are so freakin' a-hole to say we can raise the kids,
but i know one of those nights when you are so fed up of listening to the child esp when the kids asks so much question that makes you end up mouth wide open, looking after the yaya most of the time, thinking about the child on your own, without the care of another person who matters to the child
----------------------------
many times i thought of i would be better off without my man. b4 i got married i have thought of all i want is just a child of my own. but now we got two kids, me and my man would have this occasional "away" and that leads me back to my previous thoughts of better off without him, and deepened the thought of it ... why did i get married?
before entering married life, make sure you go for counselling that will help you look beyond what is MARRIED LIFE..what your husband will be will be (vice versa to women). basic is loving and etc etc etc... it does not end in church or at Hall of justice, or in bed.
still i forgot what i have gone through. such is life. we stumble and fall.
circumstansya man sa iban, i still believe that it takes two to tango.
:) counselling helps. if anybody needs one, will be of help. :)
well whatever that is working for both of you and will be working for the rest of your life its all up to the both of you....
life is hard... you have to live with it,,, suck it all down... for most part people will just give a look and say things both nice and rude... so just suck it all up.
xoxo
its all about married life... the bickering and the facade of life is great when you are married, or the people around you tells you to get a man.. have kids.. etc etc etc.. all about married
i may say reality of life starts when you get yourself a real husband/wife, the one you said I DO, i think it very far diff from those partners they may call, its very diff, you treat each other very diff i think when you both are really married. there is a bond between wherein you two cannot know what is in it.. esp when you both are married in church, or i may think so. perhaps that is the grace, that the two doesn't know.. but its in that joining of one person to another person, not just joining for the sake of getting to know each other until the time you both realize that its all just casual chu-chus.. that you both end up like friends with benefits, then you set each other free and you go around searching again for the right one as if you will find the right one, married is more than that i think, from my own perspective, marriage is a vocation. for me as a wife.. its not finding the right one, its more of like making the one right and at the same time growing with them ( i say with them becuz i got kids already), and if i say part of me wasn't sure of getting hitched its becuz part of that is God's unknown grace... me and my husband may have some occasional fights, we sometimes settle things, but normally we don't perhaps that's why we learn.
everyday we both constantly learning from each other even though we've been like 8years of courtship and 2years and 11months married. i cried, he would give me silent dish, but then its part of what i have signed and promised when i married him and before God's ... i may be hypocrite to say i don't have flaws, i too have flaws i know that, i have my usual inadequacy i may say, its just that im too open with all the possibilities of people will understand me its becuz i accept the reality of me, the reality of life. i have friends, i have family, i have extended family, my circle is somewhat like a crazy maze.. but since everyone is open to possibilities and willing to embrace... life goes on.. after all those backlogs and back subjects in my life.. .. i know i learned.
the question is
WHY IS IT THAT MATURE LADIES WANT TO STAY SINGLE AND WOULD TAKE THE RISK OF BEING A SINGLE PARENT THAN BE MARRIED
what really is maturity??? when one can decide on her own? when one can say that i am strong enough to earn a living and can raise a child of my own? when one can say i can choose a man and have sex with that man and get lost raise my own child?what about the maturity of a man who want to stay single and would take the risk of being a single parent?
few of men can do this, thats why we women are so freakin' a-hole to say we can raise the kids,
but i know one of those nights when you are so fed up of listening to the child esp when the kids asks so much question that makes you end up mouth wide open, looking after the yaya most of the time, thinking about the child on your own, without the care of another person who matters to the child
----------------------------
many times i thought of i would be better off without my man. b4 i got married i have thought of all i want is just a child of my own. but now we got two kids, me and my man would have this occasional "away" and that leads me back to my previous thoughts of better off without him, and deepened the thought of it ... why did i get married?
before entering married life, make sure you go for counselling that will help you look beyond what is MARRIED LIFE..what your husband will be will be (vice versa to women). basic is loving and etc etc etc... it does not end in church or at Hall of justice, or in bed.
still i forgot what i have gone through. such is life. we stumble and fall.
circumstansya man sa iban, i still believe that it takes two to tango.
:) counselling helps. if anybody needs one, will be of help. :)
well whatever that is working for both of you and will be working for the rest of your life its all up to the both of you....
life is hard... you have to live with it,,, suck it all down... for most part people will just give a look and say things both nice and rude... so just suck it all up.
xoxo
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