ILOILO REHABILITAON CENTER - 1911

The Iloilo Rehabilitation Center (IRC) was built in 1911 on a 868-square meter lot next to the Iloilo Capitol building in the heart of Iloilo City. It was abandoned in 2006, after the completion the new rehabilitation center in Brgy. Nanga, Pototan.
The IRC could easily pass as a heritage site, unfortunately it is currently up for demolition to give way to a state-of-the art 6-storey government building and 3000-seat convention center. source: Explore Iloilo

if you have time kindly check this out maybe we can do something about this... or can i do something about this?.... still thinking.... DOES IT HAVE TO BE DEMOLISHED ?????

the nomad

this is taken by me of course using my mobile phone.. ( it is been used at last! after two years!of having this phone!) <---- wrong grammar! haahahah
this my step uncle .. as he is been adopted by the aunt of my father - ( step cousin of my father)
about 48 years of age.. single and a nomad... he hmmmmmmm here...
first.... you won't be having a good conversation -- yes i cannot comprehend much of what he has been saying during the course of our conversation... becuz im soo quite busy holding the phone up to his face and at the same time trying to make my way of eating my favorite cappuccino dream cake... and then zip zap of H2O okey...
and then like we we're talkin' about climbing Mt. Kanlaon next month.... so he is kinda hmm i dunno if he can make it.. but yes i think he can.. he is a nomad right?...
he was once an addict oopppsss biker! race drag! etc etc etc.. ahhh he was this kind of a person who gets anything as he is always been favored by my lola... very well loved that to the point of uselessness... still we like him since he is funny and you can bitch over and nothing will come out... in fact he can be my guard.... he can be useful when needed.. but not so long... he doesn't stays in one place... nomad he is....

the thingis we are talkin' about going to climb kanlaon next month.. .. ehhhhh i have to prepare myself.... i haven't got any exercise lately.. no bikes... no jumping ropes... no hula hoops... ahhh no exercise! you understand .... and i miss you astro... huhuh!!!!!

i love you! astro... hahaha
if only they know who is my astro... effin you're gonna laugh your ass off!!! ahah.. obsession gani!

text messages

sent outs--

1. a baby s born wid a need 2 b loved and never outgrows it
2. hahahah!LOL
3. i'll be der 2 comfort u.. u know am so glad i found you! i'l be ur frnd! i'll kep holdin' on! im so efin inlove!
4. ay grabe! superfriend! I feel i got the whole world in my hand! im so efin contented wid waking up & having dat unexplainable hapiness n my brain, a skip wid my heart, a sparkle n my eyes, a smyl n my face
5. geeh! i have here a long list of names being repeatedly writen.... hahaha! doodles in one bondpaper!
6. kinda! hahaha! n a very secured dispo ako! hahaha! gotta blog dis..! its like having to hold a very fragile jell-o n my hands.. seeing it jigling, so wanting to eat but no bcuz its lyk am holding my heart out!
7. ha?
8. kilala? ha?.. hu? wat?
9. sorry! not n d list ang name! wrong! effin wrong!
10. its his problem! hahah! bhla xa da! add up sa iya unresolve issue! hhaahah basta ako I Love ... Astro boy!! weehhhh...
11. wat movi? how was ur nyt last nyt?
12. hahahha! tink of me wyl watching dat ha!
13. wats 4 lunch my love?
14. ur n mnla na my love?
15. is dat new? may buang sa likod ko as in buang gd xa ya. ako ya buang2 lang.
16. okey. hmmm. ur going to pick up ur tita na?
17. sheit ! effin sheit!
18. hay dn ka subong roxas erport plang?
19. ur cute. hee so whats the fuzz last night?
20. dx9 supported na kag
21. nanu gd ya bla prob sg laptop mo?
22. dear ang blogspot ko cute.
23. hmmm.. where u heading? please do try dencio's sisig d best and cheap~!
24. hhhh magine italian!
25. hmmmm yummy italians

recvd--

1. sa dn namn ina?
2. aguy a. basi obsession na?
3. kilala ko9 na mo!
4. c toto ramille ! B-) :'( :-P :-0
5. hahaha. bt ur in his list.
6. k. watch nalang ko movie.
7. paano kita iibigin. kay piolo n regine.
8. airport lounge reading mitch alboms for one more day.
9. i tink so.
10. yup.
11. error.
12. mobile pa kami. gutom na ako.
13. sa CIBO kami ma eat.
14. Baw, ang baby back naga melt gid.

oh well my last reply to my astro love is ... enjoy guid da my love! .. hay ah... miss him so much.... i know i can sing well when he is with me... (winks!)

On poverty

this i get from browsing over dot gov dot ph site

Three million Filipinos rise from
povertyTUESDAY, APRIL 17, 2007 ECONOMY The incidence of
poverty in the country has continuously been decreasing, what with the bullish
economy and the progress-oriented and pro-poor programs under the Arroyo
administration.Over three million Filipinos have so far risen from extreme
poverty since 2000, Cabinet Secretary Ricardo Saludo said in a statement today,
citing a report by the World Bank, the world’s leading institution for
development.The WB estimates that by the end of this year, only some 8.4 percent
of Filipinos would be living on a dollar a day – the standard by which the said
institution measures extreme poverty.Saludo said the WB forecast is buoyed up by
the continuous improvement in the Philippine economy, which is projected to grow
by as much as 5.7 percent this year.With this, the WB believes that some three
million Filipinos have been lifted so far from extreme poverty, or a decline to
8.4 percent at the end of 2007 from the 13.5 percent in 2000, reflecting a slash
of 5.1 percent, according to figures released by the WB as published in the
"East Asia Update: Managing Through a Global Downturn.""Now that the government
has increased its fund sources and earnings, public infrastructure and public
service will surely follow, thus providing employment opportunities and
expanding education, health, housing and other services for the people," Saludo
said."Through these measures, the government shall accomplish its dream of
slashing by half the number of poor Filipinos by the year 2010," he added.

read nyo na lang .. kinda depressing eh... not true to others even to me... but then what can i do?... i am here... i live here... this is my country

Tuyo Na'ng Damdamin

Minsan kahit na pilitin mong uminit ang damdamin *Di siya susunod, at di maglalambing * Minsan di mo na mapigil mapansin *Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

[Refrain] At kahit na anong gawin * Di mo na mapilit at madaya * Aminin sa sarili mo
Na wala ka nang mabubuga

Parang 'sang kandila na nagdadala * Ng ilaw at liwanag * Nauubos rin sa magdamag

(Instrumental)

Minsan di mo na mapigil mapansin * Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

(Repeat Refrain)

Di na madaig o mabalik ang dating matamis na kahapon * Pilitin ma'y tuyo na'ng damdamin

Tuyo na'ng damdamin (repeat 4x) *ha...... *-----

---------------
so like he is tellin' me that wala na... as in.. tuyo na ang damdamin... but then i know i can still remain his friend forever! and i .. i will be loving him thru and thru! ahahahha ASTRO!!!!

textbacks..

• my text messages sent out....
  ..la pa gasinaku p k d.
  ..halo halo! i ned address SPX - I have auditn na!
  ..ok.
  ..oh my! wats ur dinner my love?
  ..anu ang balita da??? so silent!
  .....
  ..i'm not thot of..
  ..bnda sa dn ka ya?
  ..wat abt? anu estory abt me?
  ..hay! Ok.. das it!
  ..ok. 2 make me self gud i wud thnk la k
  gnatext kay para d ko mahisa extrme kag d ko
  kmu ma mis kay ga date kamu da. and i end here
  at the bkseat goin home and will try 2 close me
  eyes b4 eleven. thnkng feeling... cmpletely nothing!!
  ..madrama ang adlaw. wa ko sugiran. wa sg masharan sg
  emo. evry conversatn ends widout saying g'bye. dilema
  over wat to do wid my missing u moments. drool over a
  super nice j.crew shoes dat dropd its price 2 $28...
  shall kol it a day?
  ..ipod?.. its an it. it does not emphatize.
  it does not fill the void. it does not ocupy
  my mind. its just an it. it won't functn unless i want to.
  ..HMPF!
  ..i have achoice. nothing is impossible.
  its does not end wit just ce'st la vie!
  damnit i hav u!
  ..ga sinkit mata ko.
  ..how can it be?
  ..and how cud my counselor superfriend say dat
  it has to be processed?.. kagamay lang sa inyo
  kag worthy (wehh!) to be my superfrnd -
  e process ko pa? wow! ga sinkit mata ko!
  ..ha! saksak ya sa baga ya! jakass one!
  ..i envy dat dj mix!
  
  one of the replies....
  ***amo ina ang resulta sg ginatwag nga superfriends.
  mabuang ka sina kn nd ma process kag.
  ***cest la vie!
  ***amo ina ang gusto ni toto mo.
  ***whats the use of ipod?
  ***ari kami sa chill ga pre flight party..
  (kinda like these!)
  ----------------------------------------
  there is a story... connecting the ...
  i miss my cyber friend... how's life???
  how was the exam??? hows life treating you?
  suddenly you stopped.... ahhh too busy to blog down thots ey?... well i miss your thots... perhaps im too tired na... thinking of the possibility of connecting... hmmm okey got it... so like dilemm over alms?.. ahh.. if you want to give then give.. if not.. then let it be... as long as you ar ehappy with what you are doing.. its part of life... walang manloloko kung walang nagpapaloko... walang uto uto na di nauuto.. (tama bah?) effin whatever!!!
  
  and then i miss astro boy... astro... i love you! tehhheeee.... still i am gettin' hold of the soulmate book!
  
  --------- as the day ends and that i shall close my eyes to prepare for the waking up tommorrow... i say these... God thank you for making life so beautiful... giving me lots of spices and sweets and kilig moments (huh?) and all those nonsense that i never noticed... thanks to you... please take care of those people im thinking right now.. and missing right now.. and those who are studying and those who just can't sleep... hope that they have time to blog... para maka sleep sila... hihihi... thank you for Life!....
  
  --- life ain't gonna be better than this... -- LIFE - - -
  
  safe flight to you astro boy my love!

of prices

okey... i really don't like it when the item being given to you or being lent.. is being tagged as "mahal ni bakal ko tag P.... pesos ni" " (this is cost much.. this is about p.... pesos)... so its like i cannot afford??? and if i cannot afford.. do you think i cannot come up with a brilliant idea on how am i gonna get it!... hate it when all things end up like fucking money! the cost... how much it cost.... how much i fucking bleed my nose over that price tags!

hate it becuz:

.....having lots/less of money is not an issue.
.....you cannot buy me with your money.
.....you cannot buy my ideas and thoughts becuz of your money.
.....you cannot tell one's person's attitudes with how much he has or does not have
.....money is out of the criteria of one's personality.
to others their saint is the green eyed monster money... aha! wait 'till you are dead where you cannot have your soul ...

if i were to choose between love and money.... i will be choosing love, as i know if you love the person you can work hard to have that money ... still above everything is borne out of love, not becuz borne out of having money. yes i am more into essential .. and not on physical and what you can see right there and then... magically hard to achieve but mind you its a matter of like... having to live your life like in a matter of seconds your out of happiness... thats what material things does to you... or if you haven't experienced that then i think i have... so i tell you like ... some good things never last... yeah you can remember... but will you remember the very core of its existence?... hahah... its a hard habit to break... unending process where you usually end up being the loser.... and everyone who has money can take you for granted... ditched! so go on... live like there's no tomorrow just don't end up a slobber and a fuckin' idiot and profess that you have loved and you thought you are being loved becuz of what you are... aha! you have been bought... you are like a thing! a freakin' thing! imagine yourself like a lollipop.... or a bubble gum... after the sweetness gone...licked and gone.. you too gone... chewed and blant.. ... let money work for you DON'T WORK FOR MONEY!... that's my motto... if you can't afford somethin' then it's not for you... and if you can afford that somethin' then think about it if it will do you good...

indi tanan may balor nga kuarta!

waking up

if i should call it a nightmare then the story ain't gonna be a love story - - but a horrifying and climactic ending of death.
but then it is not.

story starts about 20 something fine woman, who, deep in her heart is wanting and desiring only for love to come and be felt, not by only hers but for the other.
that in the process she end up in battle over her feelings towards the other.. of which the other is too skeptical ... skeptical over or towards the idea of wanting her, needing her, over the reality of turning down the hopes and dreams of his family that is on his hand... that lies on his hands... that is dependent on him.
battle within their hearts began when he settled down and put her on a priority inorder to have a win win situation -- between desiring ... loving . . . being free and the hopes that is in his hands...they went tried going away to another country to start and leave everything behind -- when she knw of his plan that leaves her of no choice but to let him go and bid him goodbye inorder for him to fulfill the hopes and dreams that is on his hands... so as not be selfish and be blamed ... and put the other's hope in jeopardy.....
later on he got married she end up unmarried, become a writer... their paths again crossed, she read one of her book to the public while his eldest daughter is listening and he too... at first a sadness that one can see in his eyes is a tear that swells.. upon seeing that .. her tear welled is well .. as if telling him.. im happy for you... but it is all a lie... to be proud .. telling him look at me now... to be doomed... but then she knows that even a single tear holds a lot of story...
at the end of the book that she was reading... is fine .. a very fine ending ...
they still love. and that is what they have both desired and both neither had.

one cannot question the value of life. for it does not have a concrete answer.
one cannot question love either. yes indeed it is the only rational act. but sometimes it becomes irrational ....
but with life and love together evething starts to make sense.. where you can connect simply the one to the other. having to tell or to say that I AM YOURS, HEART AND SOUL... that is life and love... intertwining. life and love as one. united.

---- woke up with a tear falling down my cheeks... i know i never missed... i cannot possibly missed life-- and love... i'm holding it, with my two trembling cold cold hand... i desire affection.... i desire you... i love you....


(while writing this i thought of a love found and then lost and then having it again... consumes my thoughts... that engulfs the placidity of my room)

again another usual waking up in the middle of the night or early morning ... and bleed my nose over the idea of writing such.. incomprehensible thoughts of schizo!
admitting?... i am .. i think.... i am?... ahhhh no ne can tell.. no one will dare!

and its all because of you... im obsessed by you completely!

kitam

so now you see, i was so right all along ( lifting me chair!) i have come to know that she is not to be pitied but to be pity ( what the put-a-ngi-na) same lang kaya.

anyway! thank you so much my love for opening ... wawa man siya...
im still obsess with my besty( i call him besty - - hash comments?) back off--- be very afraid! i miss him deadly! ahahah

so mam wenz is fine na i told her about the dolly parton ( not the wawawa thingy!) and so she said --- ay kauloy gle sa iya..! waaaaaaah.... segi alng ahhh
i tell you dolly parton you don't need a guy! you don't need a bf just to make you feel secure!

odbla... juno! wait for juno my new textmate!!! will make a story about him....


i miss you mr. funa~ ahahahah

ilonggo dialect fever

kag kung ako gani mainit!
baw kagaga guid...
gago mo man bala, patonto ka da ya..
te anu na lang ni kay nag hinangag ka?

pagkatapos sang tanan
amo ni ang akun nahibaluan - wala!
linte! sin-o ka guid bla?
anu guid bla ang imo nga motibo?

kag ngaa nainit ko sa imo?
guin anu mo ko haw?

kung pwede lang nga saksakun ta ka saksakun ta ka ya
kay abi mo namian ko sa imo?
daw sa gaga ka lang
karun kusion ta!

te klaro na sa imo ang tanan?
indi ka sagay ka hinangag ha!
man kung kablo lang ko nga amu na gle ang matabo
sa liwat mkita ta ka baw kusion ta naman ka
kag baw ang impyerno mabatyagan mo guid!

yudepuga.. gusto mo guro mabuklan ka ay
anay mo guid ay kay matapongawan ka guid

te man gusto mo guro sulok sulokun ta ka ay...

----- mga binuang sg isa ka ilongga nga wala sg may ma obra sa opisina.
ang iya utok naga kurba asta sa ulihi nahibaluan ya nga ang iya man lang gale kaugalingon ang iya kontra..... tanan kita ang aton permi kontra ang aton gid lang kaugalingon.... bisan anuhun mo pa na kay amu ina! indi palihog mag tinangag(tanga /hangag) kay karun blowjubun ta!(blee!! elbow jumbagun bun-on)

heart and rain

and then the rain comes pouring wildly
just like my heart longs for eternity of loving unconditionally
i cannot just pretend
does my heart know what lies beyond?
beyond the dark clouds
where my heart hides
away from the events of the unforgiving crowd

and when my heart starts to beat only for you
just like the rain it pours like an eternity
it cannot just pretend- and then it pours on heavily
comes with a thunder and lightning
bringing hope, fears and subtlety to some
what lies beneath no one knows
one who feels can only feel
the clouds, they only know
bringing in the gray clouds to show
what it means ..
rain is coming ...

to freeze a heart under the pouring rain
one cannot show its feeling
crying under the pouring rain
shouting tears flowing in vain
heal the pain when the end of rain is coming

until the sun comes shining down
over the clouds it won't frown
'til the day pain will be drown
just like my heart
it can feel the pouring rain
just like the pouring rain....

----- ewe....
umbrella for HdAF and LGA..... eh eh ehe eh under my umbrella!

battle in my brain

monday end up stuck at store!
tuesday half day sort ... was with RBA, LGA, RJS, and okey.. her name so happen to be like those very well known doll and well loved by little girls to have....Barbie dolls
karaoke night i so love!!! singing all the way! i enjoyed so much at annex
but before that we had a spicy dinner at krua thai, yeah it was fun... but what's more fun is the strong gush of wind... well i though JPC will be coming and so that i could have him with through the fire... but then i end up alone with that yeah lenj was soo damn fuckin' good over singing... we clicked! like a clicker! ahahah..
there i learned that she's (the doll) a shy type when in front of me.. i dunno why... is it my height? or my looks?.. or just the way i am??.. or he hated me too?
the matter of the fuck is - i hated her the first time i met her. why?.... here goes: 1. why is she so sticking to RBA?... ---> they are friends?
2. why RBA is so into her?----> maybe becuz of how her mom's cooks sweets that RBA loves? -- di namn siguro - - maybe they are just soo friends.
3. i look at her like plastic?...... - - come on.... stop holding back something
4. so what if am more manly than them?...
5. RBA is so always this happy to tell me about her. - - -> and there i am listening ... my hands getting cold and freeze!
-- i would want to ask HdAF about her, though I'm way past over this issue after all, i just want so that i cannot keep on going back and i would want to protect my friend too... thats RJS... i cannot ask RBA much about her for i might offend, its like I like her and i hated her... so what's the deal?.. i would want to ask HdAF about her... but then he is still busy with his life.
i believe that he4 knows and that he won't lie to me... or whatever that is and i would want him to be honest with me... i just want to ask him about like - - - how well you know her... or can you tell me more about her.... im not interested of what she do in life or how well she do in life or what is her life... but im more interested of what she really is. and then all of sudden as i lie on my back to prepare me self in shutting my eyes... i feel that she needs help... and so my hands are kinda wanting to reach out... i dunno but yes i can sense sometimes with people. and then i tagged her as " robert's girl"... but i hate it. and so i shall seek the comfort of my beloved harold! .. hmmmm
and then .. i can picture myself in a cozy bed of my beloved bestyfriend... i can even imagine his bedsheets... and when he starts the music on.... and we sorta like to talk about some or other things... ahhhh... i miss that ..... cannot be bought moment --- to die for ---
and i miss them so much.... and this experience of missing HF badly... is sooo ugh!uncontained. i cannot say that i am such a bitch over her but i can't help it... she's kinda fine naman... but yeah it just so happen that my friend can't get over her.. she(my friend) still hated her guts... so i told my friend -- leave her alone.. im sure that RBA is not that keen on whatever that is...
hayyy.... perhaps we ( i considered myself here as i have hated her too!) are just so afraid - (shiet i feel like cryin') that he might be carried away.... arghh.,.. i would hate and stab her at the back if that happens....
--- since i am not naive with what is going on to others thats why.. shiet happens and yes human as we are we need such... but it has to be a calculated risk... its not that we do not trust RBA ... we really do... what we do not trust is the doll... sorry but yes .... don't take that away from me.. that feeling of not trusting you for now as honestly i don't really know you .... ahhh... confused.. so i shall leave you in peace....

i love you!

More eComments
as for me.. i 'll just keep on loving... and won't be asking why.... as i have been asking why... it has been an unending battle that goes round and round...
- splats of neurons over complexities of love.
i never question its integrity
love in its fullest sense is complex
and in its foolest side...
one ends up being stupid enough
to just sulk and sob to make it through
but after that ...
its addicting like booz, like smoking...
you can just never get enough of it..
problem arises when you are expecting something,
its returns
there you get depression and etc etc...
with an issue of wanting to give love
and hoping for something out of that love to return

i give love to anyone i love
yes, i love my bf,
yes, i love my bestfriend and bestfriends
yes, i love my family,
and yes i even loved my feinds!
so whats the differrence of how it feels?

bang! complexeties starts
i love my bf - -
but how come i love my bestfriend too>?
and how did i manage to love my family?
how much i love them VARIES at times
varies--- why?...
no one can fill someone up!
and that there are times things are not just connected
it happens, uncertainties enters the with a grand orchestra
where you end up having all the WHYS and end up zero answers.
depression strikes - - pointless...

one cannot think - - as the heart that feels - only feels what it want to be felt.
but then how come one can feel through and through about what and how the brain thinks?
ahhhh round song! un ending.....

so spend love everywhere!
its a matter of how you fully understood to be understand
how fully you regain the strength from failing
how fully you you will be able again to give your utmost love
in the end ... its not how you will be loved but how you love...
and how you accept realities - - the reason there is black and white
the reason why there is Yes or NO . . .

---- complex thoughts i have for a day...

im not going to end it!

i still love reading. i still love having that smile on my face every time i can sense that one person is doing good and fine over life's bitchiness and phtafhk as what the person would say when the person is perhaps tired and kinda in the middle of something that the person crams over something ... not that i like the idea of saying bad words over and over again but hey! its coping skills that only hypocrites do not know as they thought but they do! just too afraid that their pride will hit them back! but then i you the person i salute you for that. human we are... we are entitled to such.. i bet you...

More eComments
continuously i have been telling HF that i love him... well the truth is... i do. ahhaha.. he is one friend whom i cannot get over with. well he knows that for sure... but what im afraid of is that he might be backing off... but he is not i have to assure myself over that idea, as i am just so vocal over how i feel about him and to the rest! wohooo... he one nice to touch in the face person! hey HF you are one of the eraps who has girls dying for you! ahahha.. nuf!! nuf! nuf!
cold... this season is getting cold... my columbia jacket is not of a worth now ey?... and hmm wanting to go online purchase for another one?.. hmm perhaps i can ask HF to buy me one at mall of asia???... le'me'think'... perhaps i could... i'll send him the moolah... eheheh but then i don't want to take advantage of his benevolence.. wahhhh grabitaddd.... HF man gyapun?
im going to see RBA and LGA later... yehey!! huff and puff!!! can't wait to meet them and have a nice chat with them... and get to tell them of my plans and my etc's in life.
and i shall tell them of the person that is. hmm i think i have told them already about that and then they told me about like.... "te"??? whats next?...
nahhh nothing what's next.... its just so nice to have at least coming to know that its not too late to say hi to the person you've been dreading to talk to... kahit na sa blog lang man... hihihihi...
and this jason mraz is keeping me up ... im cozying myself in this cute gas lift chair .. and that i would want to sing on top of my lungs over how i feel.....
ahhhhhhh alalalala.... its all about the wordplay...
went for a walk.. under the rain... (shh! of course with clothes on! shame on you!) went out fo the office walked through gaisano city.. crossed the bridge.. and there i felt the wind blowing the rain pouring.... and i only have my bf's jacket with... well you se my columbia is not goin' to give me the shelter... as its is old and the water proofing is outdated already.. so yun it doesn't work. so i get to use bf's rain jacket.. yeah ... nice to play in the rain... ahhh and so i htought of if i can just stay at home and toinkies! will bathe under the rain.. like a child... feel the pit a pat of a poruing rain on my skin... slowly the water slides on my skin... never gets beter than that.... and i would sit under a shaded tree and relax.... won't stop till me not feeling the cold..... and jitter over the freezing rain!...
im having a headache..... gotta have that arcoxia with me in case thubthumping' throbbing pain hits me head!....

rain...

why i hate rain..
1. shoes and slippers getting' wet and feet.. and toes... and slimy....
2. hard when i'm carry loads.. (like i have to bring my big brown bag with files and effects on it.. )
3. i hate umbrella.. bringing umbrella that is.
4. i feel gloomy. that i just want to snuggle .... and sleep all day.. and...
5. i can't have fun with cooking' as it makes me feel so lame to go to the market to get me ingredients the freshest possible.
6. getting' more fats....
7. i cannot wear nice and comfortable clothes like my tank top and a jeans that won't get wet.
8. as in hate it so much since i have to travel to and fro... and ewe! taxi?.... then i get stranded.
9. wake up late... love to snuggle
10. don't feel like sweating out.... feeling the lameness in me.

perhaps the reason why i should love the rain?
1. stay at home...
2. sleep
3. eat
4. lame lame lame
5. dream dream
6. watch t.v..... movie....
7. relax
8. pit pat pit patter pitter pat love that sound
9. i miss my sister
10. love to go bathe in the rain.... nahhh no can do without clothes on.... ahhaha


----- i thought so.
i miss you harold.... see you tuesday! love you! mwuahahahahaah!!!!

DVD stay uplates - - wid werd thots

piano - - piano-life-piano-love-piano-lust-death-piano-happiness-piano
little miss sunshine - - abnormal-happy-dork-happy-love
becoming jane - - silent-nearly lunatic-piano-love-pride-love-restless-love
the god father - - love-brutal-death-love-family-bond-love-money-power-wealth-health-death
the secrets of a geisha - (docu)- high class classified prostitute-with manners - silent- fools-icon
blaze of glory- abnormal-dork-wierd-funny funny- relationship-pride-power-self actualization(what?)

--- enuf! nuf! i must say

must see movie - - - under dog!!! the legions!!! head to rob on sunday for this one day movie marathon with me self.. only me self! hoping after watching movie my eyes shall bleed --- and that beware the eyes that bleeds - - never on a sunday!! i love you harold! hahaha... missing you much..

----

my friend >?. i dunno what's going on with him for now but i can sense that hmmmm i dunno... i should not cross the line... i have to again get back on the box outside the world -- outside his or her world.. so that a lot os space can be well used.. what the...

i need a coffee.. hmm nope not at this hour like 2aM...nope nope nope can do... as i have to open the tiange tomorrow.. hmmm...

sunday?... airsoft?.. hhmmmm no the bloody sunday is my date of movie marathon... okey brother you just go thre and perhaps i could jus tpick you up. hahaah...

what the hell happen to my candy store when i was only 13years old?....

that's all

i can only give you love that lasts forever... hayyy... thats all...
okey so like i said i am so inspired that sooo really really inspired that i can't put it in words... here i shall try...

here i am
ready to face a new challenge
in a minute we shall stand
side by side each other

looking back then
we've been through heartaches
we have overcome them
becuz we believe in love finding us

we cannot promise each other
a perfect world, a perfect life
but i know that we two are different
trying to compliment each other
we can make it through

here i am walking towards you
in minute i shall be kneeling beside you
and we will make a promise

a promise of forever love
amidst our dearest family and friends
and to the one who loved us first
God, that made us Love each other

here we are taking the risk
of lifetime commitment together
we will walk hand in hand
loving each other 'till the end
loving each other 'till forever

--HF kinda jazzy dapat ang music! heeheh daw " that's all... that's all..

contact

the answer to that is like... i dunno... something gets in the way..
and then again the

after we fall

song of sunshine keeps on repeating om ny head... arghh.. okey made a bit of tamby at smct late after office for i have to accompany bf with the switching of the camera he is selling... okey that deal was great like camera at 35thousand/... and i again drool over yamaha guitar and then i saw this shiet! i have to say sheit! things that are needed by a dreamer .... for my mini audio room... (still remains a freakin' dream... as i have to evict my neice in my room hmmm and convert a litlle space for that.. but then how when the day is coming?... shoud be having that in my new home prhaps?... and then a new room for me lovely boyfriends?... where we could slumber! weee i miss that...
and dehn after we fall again...
there is a song in progress prhaps in my had but can't write it properly as i need inpiration... or some instance.. i have to visualize it... medidate the events.. fused it out... ahh why should i walk behind and intercept a different line.. you walking away... i think this is the line... i keep on repeating this over and over again... its sorta like.. a something happend in between hiccups ... where one realizes that after everything its still both of you.. gazing on bright sunny mid afternoon on the beach.. .... feeling the breeze.... thinking of practically nothing... humming a song that sounds practically boring.... and all of sudden im back to whre i belong... practically working... hahaha... thanks for the i dunno... hheh awkward situation do makes one prson feel like sucked up in a tube .. gasping for air.. in sobbing between hiccups!... try that.. its hard.. sobs between hiccups?.. dang!!! can anybody describe what i feel today?... im thinking pointless.... confused... amused.... again confused.... help.. im drowning ...

so long.... too long

seen you again at rob ey?... okey you look so damn visible over that orange shirt your wearing.. and then yeah i got to have another book... and
yep its sunday i stayed the whole day at home... just coookin' now i love cookin' cluckys.. my neice and nephew love it... yummy and hmmm hot! heheh and then cheese lumpia to let them sit still while watching " the cat in the hat" and then " home alone part 1" see i got loads of movie for them and them i thought of getting that dvd titled borgia?... hey hf you are doing great... i love you and i miss you! weeeee
hope we coudl record that one and gt it on multiply and then perhaps... we coudl start with the recording for the album and lets think for the title of the album ....
we shall call it songs of the partylist... love what you did to my post here that made to your music.. "someone i can't have" hahaah... we should include some requiem songs ayt?.... ahahaha... i think i need to ask harold over if we could do record some songs for the wedding.. hmm wedding songs.. me and you will sing... you on the keyboard and i will just stand there.. look at you in great awesomness! ahahah....
miss blogging.... i stopped for a while thinking that i might have been to much on me self that i would just rant and write all my thoughts and then swooned by it... not leting it shape my essence....
hey! i have now schedule for the sastre... and i got the copy of the gown and the stola... i ahve to look for it... i ahve to look good on my ordination??? what the.... haahahah.... its like that i think.... the feeling... the emotions..... the clumsyness... ahahaha.... help me make it through!... love you harold!..hhehehe... thank for the silent! love that!

espresso!

went to atrium this pm like -- i just so want to get out of the situation at the office kinda toxic( this is medical term i think!) so bought:
2 slabs of tuna
1 bottle of small kikkoman
1 pack of calamansi
1 head of brocolli
1 head of cauliflower
1 bushel of kinchay
1 square of tofu
2 packs of dried mushroom
2 packs of sibot
1 pack of chicharo
2 medium sized carrots
1 head of chinese cabbage
1 pack of young corn
-- and i felt good, i bought me self a solingen knife!! wooooooohoooo
and felt damn good, i gotta cook to de-stress

so for dinner i have sushi for appetizer
a beef steak with lots of ginger!!! ahhh
and a spare ribs soup with pumpkin..

the other ingrrrrr will be early breakfast with the veggies... and grilled fish perhaps

so you asked what is sibot - - freak! don't ask me but it sure do taste good in a chinese soup as how my late father taught me how... hmmmm and also they ( the chinese) believe that it has some ek eke k.. like vigor and de stress... hmm ya as like other hmm yummy sinigang oup gives you when you're dead tired! siningang na sugpo! or sinigang na baboy with lots of gabi and melts in your mouth pork! whew!!!

and then a bottle of beer that will help me buzzzzz... gdnight!

ezzes!

went out early as 2pm, went to smd and then to smc - - with cez and tita,
jaz looking for some prospect dresses, etc etc... and then had my yummmyyyyyyy iced caramel latte with whipped cream on top! wohooo... yummiest! an of course fatness.. and so i thought of blogging to fat or not to fat?... ahhh... physical no?.. but wht th heck.. cute man gyapun big ! haahha you got your personal pillow cum bed ... or plain ovrsized comforter.
and then something hits me! toink! saw you there! but hmmm kinda hesitant to hi hello, kay bal-an mo daw ka awkward bla.. kay daw di man ka manapak mo! te hello na lng eh. hihihih kinda daw ka impersonal man. but correct me if im wrong, im not just this kind of person who like say hi and hello to people di ko close, though i dunno... argh! issue naman ng sg idea ko of being in one box. but then i eniyed my iced caramel latte.. and slurp my whippd cream! heheh...

okey it was his fault and yes confirmed the motherboard i think was gone and then when he got back to check on it again.. there it was just there inside the freakin' box! seee.. oh my... are you on drugs?... di ako nakatulog becuz of that no./.... 5am na ko natulog thats why i look sabog kanina sa office and can't concentrate well and thats the fuckin' fact! though i did my inventory for the items arrived but then i swear to all the swearers that i was so T I R E D.... and then.. muna lang... had fun with jc over his new tricks of smiling.. hay when can i have a baby to call my own.... hmpf!

harold danda ng TPL slow mo clip natin... yooooo!!!! you rock!!! and then the pictures... yowzah!!!

and then ye still have colds... saw you "pisngo!" hahaha.. what a word.. i think daw "in" man subong sipon.. lucky me noodles don't have .. but what i want is sleeping pills i think. ugh! dead tired and lack of sleep...
yipeeee... next month i will start ahhh crossing fingers perhaps net station noh?... area is almost finished construction?>... wohoooo.... have to ask supplier to update with the specs... hmmm perhaps dual core tanan?... hahaha athlon64?.. ot baddddd.... with 1G memory and a very fast connection para baboy will enjoy the BFV online game?... wohoooo.... heart pumping, heart stoppin'... eccccggggg... i need that...

oh.. purchased again Paolo Coelho's the devil and ms prym.. hmm not started though and i cannot find my warrior of the light.. shiet!! who the... borrowed it without even the 5th though of returning it back?... bsszzzzz... sleep na ko ah... arly pa ko tomorrow... will do much at shop. tomorrow.... yummy chicken sandwich you like?,,,, mid night snack... na ni...

silence

yes i was in silent mode, as i have been busy with paperworks and some transactions, and then i paused, what the pack i have been doing lately that makes me so damn busy?.. or like what i am doing ba?what make me busy?...
1. bank transactions
1.a for shop transactions
1.b for house disbursement of workers

2. office paperworks
2.a office delinquent accounts
2.b case filing for the estafa case bp22
2.c filing of P.O.'s and D.R.'s
2.d canvass forms

3. home paperworks
3.a long overdue liquidation report ( yeah i know... )

4. bills to pay
4.a PLDT
4.b PECO--- damn freakin' electric bill are they in a race for THE HIGHEST RATE IN THE PHILIPPINES?.... too high and always brown out...
4.c SSS-PHIC for the office
4.d housemaid dues
4.e coming up water supply...
4.f taxes and rental fee.

5. my day is like three months to go... (quite sure na guid ha??)
....caterers.....dresss....flowers....church.....venue.....
ahhhh rituali si coming na ??.. what happen to that event planners kaya?... rituali has to go beyond those event planning...

hay... soon i'll be just singing in some private dinners... wohooo dreaming dreaming... im holding on to harold for this... hehehehe.... ala andrea bocceli with celine dion dinner concert... wohoooo yahooo yahoooo.... (yahoo should be paying me for this!)

papa is at bacolod for a 30day retreat.. he is doing okey but i think he is obese, he should go for check up after that retreat no... like annual check up.. heheh he needed that.. and then for me.. i have to go na guid schedule for my cardio... and not tell him im smokin! ahahahahahah its like having an orange juice and at the same time puffing liquid gas! haahah...(worst!)

best last line syndrome!! LLS - - from the movie of my beloved Don Vito Corleone, THE GODFATHER where my Mikey idol ... ahhh best actor!!!

...calo: In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns!!...
...Don Corleone: Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man. ...
...Don Corleone: You talk about vengeance. Is vengeance going to bring your son back to you? Or my boy to me?
...Mikey:Discontent for money is just a trick of the rich to keep the poor without it.....

i think i ahd enough of this ... but i would still love to go for another sleepless nights just for the corleones! .... whooo... next will be the borgia!! shall look for that in dvd... ahmmm...

and now i leave you with .... peace.... "Don't overestimate the power of forgiveness." .........

after we fall

yes and after we fall... copied from sunshine and her boyfriend.
and then a day to live and as we soar... guide us.. as we face the world - - by harold funa.. ahhh fever!
whatever happens in that moment of meeting not knowing how and parting not knowing when... so like this
and that in everything there is a moment of silence... and that i end up being justfied.. oh my what am i talkin' about... huhuhu
no good movies?... i need a good movies... i miss movie house... palagi na lang ako spend time with DVD's kaya ayun.. di makatulog ng maayus.. huhuhu
voices that care are crying out loud....


when the fly flew in.. he struggles to fly!

i could have been jerking around.... my tedy bear is out... perhaps he is not feeling well...

someone i can't have

that smile, that face
i've never seen that before
that sparkle in your eyes
caught me by surprise
and i thought of a love
from someone i can't have

those hands that carries no demands
i've could have hold it in my hand
though you're someone i cannot have

and i thought of a love
from someone ...
somehow
that smile could've been mine
to wear on my face will be such divine
for someone i love
that sparkle in your eyes i cannot define
for love is what i hide behind
i cannot lie, i cannot put love on the line
being undefined...
for someone i love i have lied

those hands, these hands
who longs for your tender touch that bonds
wanting to touch your face,
hold your hand together and hope you feel
the beating of my heart at race..
eventhough you cannot be mine.

to know that we have loved,
that i have loved someone
through and through
and that is you...
still i will be loving you
through and through....
only for you...

- - - dedicated to someone - - -
2.58am
still thinkinig of how HF touched his face during the lunch time, and oh my God i was mesmerized, gotten obsessed, picture this out... feels like i heard fairies are singing, and so this crazy lines are for you harold..
though its a combination of the other.. yeah i heard the fairies sung at the exit.. but much of harold's inspiration...

life's like that you can never have what you want, what you need sometime.
that dreams are meant to be a dream, and to be dreamt, that the only thing i know about constant is the rising of the sun, the stars at night, the moon and the unending love of God... and the compassion of His Mother...

walking in the air....

went to atrium this pm after work, then i rushed for the God father trilogy disk.. and then yes... chaching..... went to grocery to get me some food and then chaching.. its like i have been spending much ha... and then swoon... swoon.... swoon.... while walking i of course recvd a text message about okray over the person as to ask why am i not going to the investiture of my adopted brother in roxas?.. hmmm now that i have reason to go... i replied " i have a feeling that i cannot contain for now.. like at the exit of the atrium... at that very moment i thought of someone... hahaha.. its ike flashing of smiles in my thoughts... and then off to go!
maybe he is home already?... i dunno or was at my bbbbbbbbbbrrrraaaaiiinnnn inside me head.... arggg that moment... ese momento yo sentía el amor está en mi espalda, el está en mi espalda, seguramente yo knew. eso fue grande, eso lo fue... el interno, el médico, el otro... ... mi otro..
and i miss ... oh no i never miss i just don't want to be caught off-guard..
and then i was about to step out while twitching my text(winkies!!!) i thought of wanting to eat litson manok or baked one... hmmmm so sad .. i didn't got one... i got some mucnhies though like.. cookies?.. ahhhh junk foods .. like i have some nuts.. some nachos! ahaha... dipped inm home made dip! with dijon... ahhh but i would try that curry ketchup of my dearly beloved harold. and i so want to tell harold over the incedent! tomorrow.. for now i have to rest i have to see the godfather. .. quizás mi médico se irá de mis pensamientos... pensamientos.. pensamientos... quizás.....quizás.....quizás....quizás.........
pero soñaré de usted esta noche.....¡Duerma bien mi amor.. buenas noches!

let me tell you this

if i could... i want to help you, i would want to take care of you, cook you sumptious meals(winks!)great tasting healthy juices, some sandwich, give you a slight massage on your back, scrub your back, give you warm fresh crisp towels everytime you come out of the bathroom, put you to sleep with the serene sound of celtic music, hand massage?... and perhaps i can give you a big great hug, and when you are sick i will stay at your side always, prepare you a nice scrumptious mushroom soup... whatever it is you might like.. as long as i can.. i will... but then how could i?... now since i cannot have that answer... here's what you're going to do... lots of water, lots of sleep, warm meals ... ahhh you know what to do right?.. i know you know... but then i still will if only i could...
how would first meeting be? .... like everything is first time?...

comentario

Moxs said...
let me put it this way...selfish...nope, just find a little time to be wid yourself ah...find d time that nobody will bother you while you settle/find your thoughts so that you can decide or take act, thats what
I mean by being selfish, giv yourself a chance, him/her a chance, gets? -wonders again if she understands, and smiles...-

- - yeah that's what i call having my personal space, especially if im thinking and feeling at the same time, whatever disposition i am into.
thank you.. yes i am wondering so much, everyday, endless wondering... and i just have to bow down my head and yes smile.... breathing deeply!

- - - whatever happen to my blog that made its way to panay news.... you think they read that article?.. hope not! crossing fingers..

and then my heart is thumping, irregular beat.. oh no.. not now i say to my heart since i am so aware that i am not so good in facing acosta.. hehehe what i hate?.. wating lines....
where i end up....
1. bored.
2. would want to sing infront of other patients to kill time.
3. think of a love lost and found
4. no i am not going to read my book as it makes me sleepy...
5. malapuwak sa kainit!
6. hate to see those like coughing thier lungs out!!
7.. end up thinking of meeting someone unussual... ngek! toink! kablag!
when?... ohhhhh when was that?... was there a time?... la pa gani kadto kag!

and i fell in love with Sebastien Izambard.... hehehe cute eyes.... soft lips... nice face... ahhhh husband figure... Sebastian is a talented songwriter and accomplished guitar and piano player as well as being a self taught singer
--- see we are so the same.... thing is i am not a talented songwriter and an accomplished guitar and piano player.. just a self taught singer.. huhuhu... but i know i can pull in harold to play piano for me.. as long as he is not busy at the seminary.....harold you rock as in... guapo sa imo 'rold.. shiet! saw you fix your eyeglasses during sg lunch natun sa esca's oh my tanginagago you're so handsome.. swooon!!!! who needs michael buble?... when i know i got harold! ahahha

and i finally have come to the point of married life... do i have to?...
thinkin' posibilities... thinking of husband's attitude etc etc etc.... will i survive? can i handle things?... ahhh question love...

i have to do this...

or else im not going to have this good night sleep.. its hovering!
actually im not so coffee drinker that i have to have it everyday?...no, its more like you want to have coffee?.. okey i'll go for tea or water... its becuz.... my heart skips! and pumping fast... and that there would be time of the day that 'tangina! linagumba lang ya! but then i sometimes take some sip..and a cup and experience .... haaa... and then i read other people's blog.. sheit! again... long i have been addicted in writing whats in my thoughts and whats in my heart... no i dnt need lobotomy. what usually is the issue that surrounds why people love to talk and talk?.. well it dpends on who are you talkin' to.... as for me if im with my party list supah friends we talk about what goes in and out of our lives and what we feel and some spoofs... and never ending. sometimes when i talk to some people.. like friend of friend.. it is spontaneity eh.. so i cannot pick the right issue. but i know right now my heart is aching! shiet! again i have to go check up with acosta for the freakin' MVP he was telling me last year... it feels like numbness....
back to the story... i am.. hahahaah!!! joke! ... its not in the eye its partly how your heart would skip and tell you aftr each every question of what if and what nots... ahhhh pucha! hirap describe.. i think i shall rest since i don't feel good... tired and restless and in sunset!!! hearts pumping and ahhh.. tired lang uid guro.. perhaps post bamboo excitement lang ni.... winks!

09-01-2007

yeheyy!!! first day of september...
briefed the new hired employee.
meet up with lenj and harold at smcity, usual meet and greet of my love ones... hayyyy his face is so smooth... the others' face is smooth too... i think???? so i talked to them about my lost comments and commentaries... then ... dropped them off at atrium, went home took a bath and then prepared for babmboo's concert... 'twas a blast... yes so i was with my panay news friend.. JPC oh my gosh! my blog! he put in one of his article... oh my oh my... JPC ahhhh... but anyway wala na ko may mahambal pa kay na published na... hahhhhhhhyyyy!!...
still il divo is winking at me sebastien!! i love you! hahaah....
hey tell you about what happen to the concert or what i have been doin' at the concert... of course i was so enjoying the time... i get to scream so much on top of my lungs... harsh voice i got that secondary vocal used up and guess what i did not had sore throat! yipeee.... i so love singing na talaga.. words/names that i screamed:

i love you!!!!!!!
im rock!!!!
im here!!...
wohoooo!!!
batchoy!!!!.....
harold!!!( like thrice?)
robert!!!!...
hell yeah i screamed a lot... so there... and then went to smallville to have our dinner.. then coffee and postres...
and a very nice conversation with harold, lenj, marie and JPC of panay news and others from roxas who comes and goes.... and some friends i met there... okey lang...
ohh my bim bim is asking me to attend his investiture on friday at roxas, and i can't make promise to come or not to come... but he is like been asking me to come... okey sideways...
so back to sept 1, 2007.... hayyy... went home 4.30am.. why?/... its raining .. drizzling and we are having so much fun, yes boss i did not had any boooze..... great! no hangovers and no head aches hmmm... just walking in the air...
then ff day sep2 woke up 8.30 so like i had only 3 hours of sleep.. went to atrium to check on dvd's.... haaa i got celtic women, il divo and andrea bocelli!!! i love these... it shall be added to my passion for msuic of this kind... and
then meet and had my late breakfast... with harold, lenj and JPC at their hotel. so there... talked again and had a laughs... ahhh i love the company.. witty and okrayan... jahahaha...
and then had late lunch at escas, and then after that they need to go back to roxas, some sked and harold has class tomorrow at the seminary and also lenj has schedule at the parish tc etc etc... so again although i know i have to get that sleep, instead i went to watch il divo and etc.. i am not stoned! i don't do drugs... its just natural for me to be like hyper.. and then i know i will miss again the comapnjy of great friends great taks and i love more coffee when shared with them.

in life its not all we want we can have, thre are things that are meant to be only for dreaming... that perhaps adds up a little spice in our life, that once in our life we became so crazy over something or someone... still having that diginty and composure...
that in life... there are people who pops in and out and you never know he became so part of your life.. in wa y sometimes we know sometimes we did not... but as for me i always know.. thats why im ever greatful for friends and etc.. for such a blessing, be it hurts me or whatever emotions.. still i know essential to my being are those that helps me grow and maturely accept the facts and realities..

yes finsihed ko na eleven minutes.. so shoudl i contiue with paolo coelho or buy isables?... what?.... no book reading for me this week?... tani man lang a good conversation... over coffee?... ayyyy busy sked this week.... poof!yhey...go na ko for the med stud of WVSU and asclepius' sponsorship and i will be the one who's going to attend...?.... huh???... we'll see... hehehe..

i don;t have time to rant for now.. but i know i ahve iun my brain to rant about but " never on a sunday!" ahhh slepy.... let me dream of you tonight! goodnight!
its 10.51pm 09-02-2007

what ever happens

splat! sgirks!.. crack!! prrrssst! there goes the connection of my neurons way back in high school. bling!!!
start!

yes im not so into like do i have to study?... hey! i have been listening to my teacher naman, though sometimes it is just like in the middle of the subject matter especially early morning subject ( math! toink!!)hated math.. i am still happy with the basic... plus minus multiply and divide.. heheeheh so i usually come to school late.. so what! eversince i have been a night owl and my mom would tell me that "your like aswang! you are so up in the middle of night and late to wake up!" so theresa as always like thrice in a week will be late... reason?.... --- i saw him.. eheheheh cute! we're like late people! eheheh
and then ... i am always up with singing and dancing... i enjoyed much of highschool days though i can count on my fingers those i am with most of the time, since i have my own world... like when we graduated yes im friend to them but i don't stick to them that much... i only have 3 barkadas(groups!) and that they know everything about me from my super crush to my super teddy bear to my apple of the eye... still i never did tried flirting with them... its becuz i have that bitchy and maldita and suplada effect... one thing i enjoyed the most is CAT-- hahaha if i will classify myself as a student i am more of like in between... ( ha!!!! in between!)like im not so suplada that i get myself into trouble no... and im not the goody type either.. so like ... what the .... as long as i am not being touched or not in trouble... heheeh so i realy enjoyed singing.. like i joined singing duets.. dancing and dancing... eheheh what else... what i love most is when i would try to position my chair near the door so that i could see my crush... my teddy bear! hehhe i look at him that time and ... swoooonnnnn!!! pinch me pinch me... as i would always tell my friend... and then he is like being in a pedestal.. higher than me as he is intelligent very intelligent, cute, big of course who would have thought of me to be this big after high school no?... as i was like this sooo small --- long haired human being... who they thought as suplada.. and ugh! whatever they thought of me and percieved ... shiet! i say to you you are soo wrong! and so yes... so back to my crush (as this realy made high school life a big toink!) ahhhhh i dunno if he has girlfriend that time i dunno as still i knew then that they can't hurt me even if i love them from a distance... and i was like a snoopy girl.. i knew alot about him family, siblings... even where they live,..... and until now i still have some source about that but not that much like when i was still in high school... during my high school days i have been spending time at the seminary during weekends
when i was in college and had lots of freakin' people and friends whom i have used my bitchyness to the limit and that i even cursed others and damn! i was soo rebelious during those time...
i had this not so fine relationship. and that thank you to them as i have learned so much of life and i understood how much fucked up they are than me! ahahha
oh okey... do i need to put them here?.... hahahah will skim them ... hahaha
i wanted so much to earn money other than holding my hand up infront of my mom and ask for my allowance... so i applied in mcdonalds... i work there as a part time crew...
so like i am this very diligent student... that even summer i will take some subjects so that my regular school days will be much free.. i woke during afternoon till night .. clsoing so like i go home around 11pm or alter.. like after work i will stop by have a bottle of beer that if my ex-sem friend cum teacher will drop by and we have talk under whatever that is... life and life and life.. but he has a girlfriend that time.. so we are like hmm hmhmhm friends! so a smoke and a bottle of beer. and then sometimes some friends.. especially during pay day.. ows! like i have moohlas that time like i have around 2thousand of allowance per month then i have my pay at mcdonald's like 2thousand also?.. wopppeee... see i so much enjoyed buying me self clothes shoessss where i drool.... and socks... heeheh and then of course i have some bf's that does not last... those are just some fucked up! like hell-o!
once i feel like i don't like him or just anything that does not make me feel good even just one time.... bang! your off... im not pretty i know but then i have to be aware that there are just persons that are a totally whacked fuck up.. stoned and etc etc etc...i even had a bf that had an affair with a gay... as in i really jackpot them ... and then next is.. i have this bf who got other girls pregnant... its becus i don't want?.. shiet?... and then there's this one fling guy that his idea is to go to bed with me... shiet! he was soo sick! as in, and then since he did not got what he wanted.. he told me that he doesn't like chubby girl he wants skinny.... yeah skinny yourself.. like you don't have a fat ass to hold on to. so he was exed! like he is now in hell!! hahaha... like what if his gf soon to be wife or is it his wife now?.. got preggy and then came to point that she came fat... what is he gonna do?.. ditched his wife?... tang ina mo gago ka... yan lang ba ang pinag aralan mo?... kung gano kataba ang ayaw mo?.. or ganu ka payat?... di mo ba alam ana ang mga payat ay walang boobs?... walng tush behind?... and isa pa... di sila maganda sa kama! gago ka! you are wan pak shiet! are you on drugs?.. gago yun tlaga as in sa mga nak relasyun kpo tang ina tlaga yun.. kala mo kung sino relihyoso... tang ina mo... basag mo nga vase ng lola mo sa bitchokoy mo! gago ka insecure ka.. at eto pa... payat mo kaya.. kala mo guapao ka?... tang ina alam ko addict ka noy! magsama kayo ni kamatayan! ahahaha... wan pak shiet tlaga yun eh... kung meron alng oras na pwede ko kayung batukan batukan ko kayo eh.... mag walang hiya.... kayo ang salot sa lipunan... tpos i end up day dreaming over my crushes.... and blamed them for not wanting me .... heheeh gaga rin eh ano?... but then all is fair in love and in war pero sa isa yun it wasn't love... katawan ko lang after nun... gago kasi eh.. dahil di nya ma angkin kaya sinabi mas gusto nya payat! tanga!!!!! pwet mo meron tubo! gago ka! --- fubus bravahhhhhhh....pero minsan alam mo pag nikikita ko sya or minsan nasa i i sang resto kami tang ina bat ko siya papansinin... worth ba sya?... fuck you asshole !! mas gusto ko malaki! malaki na tao! i love cuddles and hugggables and yung malaki ang katawan ( hoy! di malaswa ito anu!) gusto ko yun kasi i feel more secured kasi malaki nga ... tapos yung grabeh mag hug... ayshhhhh touchy ako.. tapos yung mahal na mahal ako yun ako lng iniisip plagi, of course naman meron din siyang priorities but then mahal nya ako.at ako alng... kahit na mataba ako.. mataba din sya eh... .. and sudeenly it turned sour! shiet! why i am doing tagalog ahhh?....and why am i telling you this?... di ba high school life?
i love high school.. but then dreams ended up as dreams... there are some reasons as i know nothing but still i know i lived life to the best... i love and will be loving and still be loving... will be longing for the time where i can have coffee and talk to you...a smoke or two over some issues.... and perhaps i can get a hug from you.