kerplock!

so i read. yehey!!! another healer?.. hahaha.. gret great great.. i wonder whats next?.. surgeon?.. ay whatever.

you see i've had this quiet short and quick talk with hubby over just about anything that popped into my mind right after i stepped out of the bathroom, first.. the wonder of motherhood.. all the patience and perseverance, the humbling etc etc etc.. makes me teary.. and then all of a sudden another thought oh my i had a schoolmate then he was big and cute and cuddly i bet as usual those big and bold pipol, are indeed cuddly.. so he is now licensed md?.. thats so great.. im so proud of what he has been up to.. see i heard those past events that happened in his life.. hay segi alng its life.. and sometimes we get to learn from it very well. we just have to. but congrats to him. all is paid off.

anyway sideways.. im on the edge of my first trimester. feeling a bit bunty as in.
so this morning i attended mass, hubby got the car at the other side and then pick me up again to ahve lunch, but before he icked me up right after mass it took me only 30minutes to shop for justa short and a cute tops, so striped blue.. and then got us both a new nice and fluffy pillow, some mini chairs for the handmaids, hangers and some stuff,, i realize that all these years living alone at home, trying to manage and meeting both ends and upto the time i got me self married i have been doing some odd things... shopping for laundry clips, hangers, water tubs, place mats, laundry baskets, pillows and etc etc etc.. hmm i have been trained!.. i trained me self. harharharhar..

and so i continued buying some stuff in just 30minutes. and then toink! there goes my hubby, off we went to eat at erning's back then when i wa sin high school me and my friends would hurry up and eat our lunch here just eat talaba and sisi over hot rice and soft drinks.. oh well if we have extra we grab some lechon.. and now we just have our native lechon, talaba gulaman, some sorts.. yeah since i can only just a little since eating much makes me barf and a bit nauseated after and then the feeling of bloatedness is soo eww!. so there... was with my brother of course and then we went to oton to see my neice nad my other brother and then off we went to some are called junkshop where people meet to fire gun at each other.. hahah nahhh to have fun with airsfot and so iw a sthere... hayyyy... okey and then went to see the bike fest! haha.. so many people and the ehat is on.. so i neeed to tell them both 9 my bro and hubby) lets leave and then off we went o the new hobbie in town.. fish tanks and fishes in the tanks... hayyy... and so again i end up shakeys... i got me self hungry and then eat me shakeys pizze and then do some funny grocery... i get to selct the food and things to buy... harharhar... and so i get home raised me leg up while watching some odd news again over some slutty deal i must call.. and then off to take me bath and then i slept right after then i woke up and got nothin to do,,,, im hungry... and i ate nad then i did this blog, an again im hungry,... have to eat and then sleep. see yah around.
i miss TPL roxas so much... hope i can get there this week. night morning tight!... let mee see a new sunrise later to fight!... (winks! bliss bliss bliss )

2months na...

and yes im still in barfing modes... urks! erks!.. got the first ultrasound of my baby .. cool. speechless ako. so what has been the routine lately aside from frequent lavatory barf?.. hmmmm sleep. pee... and.. you know.. and then .... think think think what am i gonna eat?... nada! nada! so what we gonna do?... drink water... eat crackers.. sleep... wake up... barf.. yeah.. life's like that sometimes.
okey reading veronika makes me a little bit relax... hmmm cooking something i cannot eat.. basta i just love cooking.. hate the pills.
stay and waiting and then browse to some blogs entries.. and then read and get hold of other people's lives and learn something from it or some i can apply to my daily dallies..
pack things for another nights on the other side.. and then world becomes a little bit messed up when i am there... i do;t like the atmosphere as there are much of chaos every now and then and that it seems that attitude is winning. i cannot compromise my tiredness and just be awaken to some chaos of brother/sister quarrel and then will be added by husband after.. and then i feel uncomfortable. i hate that kind of situations .. i want a quiet and serene place. so i would opt to stay at home and let husband go home and i for three nights will wait for him here in my special place of which i called home for the past 28 years of my life. i miss feedback over multiply and to some other blogs i have. i miss the company so much. i miss the best trip im wanting to have. to go back to roxas. and trip to other cities.. mostly i miss much a hug from papa and rom bestfriends. a hug i cannot have from hubby., though hubby is great.. harharharh he is great. one great husband.. nahh comment no more na ah. im trying to compose a lyric out of this situation to ge tme brain off other things .. ut it seems that im kinda bobo for now. hahaha... so see yah later whenever... whatever...

morning wake ups and guilt.

guilt.. guilt... i've been missing the show of john paul cadiz's ARANGKADA at GMA, that's the cut somewhere in between UNANG HIRIT.. reason: sleepy, becuz im preggy. this is a valid reason?.. whoaaa... i miss a lot of his segments.. and the moment i turn on the tv when i wake up?... ha?... tapos nah?.. OMG... i love you JPC... heheheh, second guilt....i am trying to take anmum ... reason why me not drinking it most of the time?.. i don't like the smell and i feel like im gonna barf... and i feel bloated after.. hope anmumers can read this so that they can have remedy for other mommies to be... so i take capsules to nourish baby hans if i cannot take anmum... and yes im wearing a maternity shirt with words " hormonally challenged"... beat that.. and i feel pretty. harold you hear that?.. i feel pretty!.. heheheand i love you!!.. aw! hubby is so cute when waking up in the morning touching my belly and saying " hello baby!".. yowee... hmmm and i think im lsoing weight.. my baby is eating all im taking in... whooops!.. and he hungers every two hours... hay hoping and praying baby hans will be like his/her Daddy Harold, Daddy Robert, Daddy Richard, Daddy Joel and Daddy Lenj ( waikikikikikikikiki! patay naman ako sa knila! paglihian ba naman!) ha! you are so right my dear harold basta good traits lang.. hahahah... ahhh.. i love foot massages, arms and torso massages... love it love it.. one thing that irks me lately is this... my brain is growing!... that means i have a frequent headache dumdum! and dinagyang is coming and i dunno how am i gonna kill the missing moments with harold, lenj, robert and JPC and the rest of the gangs... please do come over.. lets just have juice and talk and watch movies!... hehehehe
JPC - - try ko ulit tomorrow na di ko ma miss imong arangkada ha... wabshu! hehehe

7 weeks pregnant

so this is how my baby looks like now?.and hans is cute.. (by the way this pic is not mine.. its a courtesy of my news for pregnancy weekly)
so its more or less hans looks like this pic for now..

what i feel .. what i felt...
... sluggish, i feel unpretty, i dunno usually what to do what to eat.. basta if i don't like it then i don't like it. i usually look for a place thats calm and peaceful.. no barking dogs, no noisy people(most of the time i don't like nagging people.) .. i hate morning wake ups when hubby would just leave the door open.. ugh.. that i hate lately., and also i still can't sleep well ( you see i sleep most of the time lying on my front, and back flat, ) now i cannot do that.. if i lie on my front as if i can't breathe well and my breast oh my goodness.. BREAST.. my goodness breast! and when i will try lying on my back.. i feel that my tummy is on my neck..(though tummy is not that big, but i just feel like that).. so side lying or head and back is elevated. hmmm very nice.. and that i can drowse me sleep .. no irritating noise.. no slamming opening of door or just plain talking in a high tone. and yes im usually holding on to my patience.

i'm holding on to my patience that is usually i end up with at night. and I pray that i am going to be beautiful! hehheh... that life would still be beautiful for me.. and for all....

the letter was sent

THIS IS THE ONE I REALLY DID. GUIN PRINT KO PA... HARHARHARHAR...

01.04.2008

Papa...

There are just some things left unsaid. but i won't squeeze you out just to tell me what it is and so I can't be squeezed out too. Someone told me you cried. hope that it wasn't about the sadness that you have or what I gave or what I did.. hope that it was all about happiness and what you felt by letting the kite go... still pulling it when its losing its flight... you mean so much to me... i am proud of how you molded me (in a way you did great and made a great impact on my life.. this i cannot really articulate in front of you...), mixed emotions in some moments in my life was when i asked if are you happy... and you said you are happy...( you remember the time when all i want is of you to be happy of whatever decision i made that makes me happy? and you said i cannot push that happiness to you becuz its your feelings and you own that feelings..) and i cried so much with mixed emotions... i was much like a little girl given a doll by her father ... or a girl who got some presents from her dad comin' home... it felt like that... more than that. and the thought of, if only my father is alive ... on the second thought i have to live beyond.. let all the past be an example .... that made me strong. I'm happy the way things turned out. thank you so much for the support and for the coming support... I'm so happy having you in my life... thank you for being the father ... i thought i lost. Thank God for giving me you.

(blog12-02-2007 @ multiply)

I'm blessed . I'm 4 weeks pregnant. Lolo ka na naman. (winks!)

Love,
baby

p.s.

I have to go back into writing,much better for me.

butanding journal

what i feel ...
1. okey my tummy is like growing, and i find it a little awkward in dressing up, then jeans and shirts are oh my goooollllllssss... kinda so not into me liking... so i usually end up in my draw string pants, polo shirts(lacoste man yah!)... some blouses that i would feel comfortable with.. see HF im not yet wearing belly basics.. kay i think its way too early to wear one. heheheh maybe next week?.. and then mornign sickness here it comes... i love hubby's perfume the one he's been using since he was in highschool( he told me so) i find it so sexy to him but elk! lately i hate the smell fo it that i even puked. oh my God'... so this is the blessing of a mom that prepares her for the next season of motherhood. you got to learn the hard way of how much you have to push the thing that you love the most... ahhhh loving one's self.. hehehe so i puked and hated the smell.. see my nose is sensitive... even tot he smokers?.. oh my goweyyy... hate ko na smokers smells... heheh hay.. never ko man yah na smell sila lenj and harold being a smoker to be smelt like an ashtray... they're clean man yah and knows their limit. ( isingit ba naman..) so muna ang akun gina binatayag subong... plus and pwerte ko nga kahidlaw sa taga roxas.. huhuhu...

2. food... i eat anything and what comes to my head... but sometimes the moment the food is right their and then in front of me ... ewe! im not ven gonna taste even a bit fo it... funny ... i stop for a while drinking anmum .. why?.. you ask me why?.. the thought of it even makes me like barf... huhuhu .... so like go back to capsules to nourish my baby hans.

3. body changes and everything... these two pomegranate is heavy and it gives me back an ache ... aches everywhere... arghhh.... and then

4... i find it hard to sleep straight just sleep straight... and would love hubby to lightly slowly rub my back that puts me to sleep...

so this is the journal of me.. the butanding.. thus will be updated from time to time.. depende sa mood ko subong kay the longer i stay sa pc or laptop makes me feel dizzy.. i would prefer sleep and go bummming around.... and sleep and sleep and munch... and sleep.... butanding.

bohooooo

see im like 6 weeks preganat and hay i feel grumpy sometimes.. and i feel the tug of roxas soo much.. it gets under my nerves the knack of wanting to leave the city and be in a quiet nice serene place... but the kinda humpy travelling is not permitted by my OB ---
now the not so problem arises when i decided to go for another OBGYN.. so i went to a male OBGYN harharhar.. MALE>>> hoy! BF knew naman and the male doc is quite kidna good -- personality wise.. he is soo cowboy... but just don't know cowboy he could be ... harharhar specs of speculations ahh he is good.. especially if he is going to give me the best professional fee ever... and he did!... so let me see... if the lady OB is not avail by the time i hmmmphf! this baby then male OB is in... or vice versa... still my hans (this i call to my baby growing) for now is in the size of a seed of a jackfruit.. see.. how cutiee... hmmm and yes i have some sickness but i dare not to put that in my brain ... the most violent scream in my head is roxas. harharharhar... and so the calls of harold and some texts of lenj and the silence of robert heals.. at least it does.

and so hans is growing still my 2nd OB which is male suggest that i should go for serum test so i did.. and bear the pain of the in jection.. and also to the other test for HEPA etc etc blood typing ek ek ek basta isa lang mahambal ko masakit and tuslok sg injection and i hate it.

AND FOR NOW I HAVE TO PAUSE KAY DAW GALINGIN ULO KO.

by the way nainit guid ko kay wala na sg paulo coelho nga books avail sa NB...
and it sucks!

what becomes...

ahh at last i thought of asking me self over.. what happened to my cyber friends?.. how come my cyber friends just suddenly stopped thinking and blogging? hmmm perhaps there enemy is time.... and time alone is way too depressing to to think that we may have all the time we have but we cannot turn it back... so simply time is all we have but its not in our hands and you can't stop the time... aw! good to know that he is still inspired in what is his passion ( if it is really --- but i think he is...) doing some things that has to be done... and yet to be done.. he is thinking about it.. at last... he is not in an absorption mode... ( absorption mode i call for those keeps on studying! burning candles just too keep up with the medicine life!!) hay mare smile na jan for everyone!!! heheh are we in for late lunch on monday... or snack or just for our year ender?... hmmm drahcir how come youa re sooo freakin' busy?... and we keep on waitng for yer time ... huhuhuuh please don't make me being married as an alibi as it does not hinders to what we call relationship.... huhuhu...
but then i think you are not making it naman it just so happen that busy is stamped on the december christmas season ..... and here i am wondrin' why if you ever had enough rest ....

i think i need to see a doctor.... i envy those who keeps a cigaretter lighted... and those who can be left in the middle of the gutter to sleep due to alcohol overdose.... i envy you becuz di kayo nag iisp kung meron pa ba bukas! hahaahhha but honestly i miss cigarette smoking... hmmmmm crisp.. smooth ..... arghhhh.... poooohhhh!!!!!

what becomes of me after this night is ..... still me a lover of life... a lover of relationship . . .

pursuing my personal legend.... that until now i do not know what is it... hehehe...

love that...
.

and so my first month

okey like im so one month married.. and i still have all the bliss with my friends.. as i keep on missing them so much...
now i have a nagging cough and a sneezing here and there...
i miss them much... they get to text me from time to time but that goes to nowhere but to a more missing moments. the last time i was with them was the night of my wedding and then i never get to see them like for already a month... and i missed them so much... we had so much of a fun and a laughter... and they are gettin' busied by the holiday rush of masses and everything occasion that us filipino's wanted to grab the idea of everything Christmas celebration... like weddings, baptisms, blessings be it home or car or just about everything... early mass the aguinaldo we call it .. and then occasions being invited as speakers for some recollection or retreats and seminars for other people's well being.. spiritually and morally..
so those are just some of the things that keeps them busy.. and then comes january the beithday of robert is on the 7th so i have to check that date... that i have to celkebrate it with him... hay i miss him... and then comes february 28 for harold's and then my birthday and so on and so forth... harharhhar... they are just my mere friends whom i know i can count on whenever i fall.. and up up an away... in my beautiful balloon.... see you sometime... i love yous and i misses you so much! and so i shall leave you with a happiest and more of missing moments holiday season...

O R G I E S

yipee we are going to have this family reunion.. ONG -- harharhar... overnights.. yipeee ..
organizer me ... games.... games.... foods.... and fun fun fun and ONG-panay!!!.. harhahr ( hangpanay!) so i suggest to start the kids ... i org them to do some gift giving as part of a yearly activities.. shared by them cousins... and that would make them feel better... not just to make feel better though i think as helping is a must... so i have to give them a kick.. (not a kick literally ) so perhaps a feeding program would make them start... i dunno how am i gonna pull this offwith less time ... but if it can't be done this month...perhaps by first week of january.. this will be great for three kings...

you see children nowadays spend so much of their time in front of computers, t.v. and less the thought of giving oneself to others even just for one time. even more less time with the family and lack of emotional concern.. socially ... ... does schools still teacher values education?...

by the way you think orgies mean other things?... what a mind.... !!! i call organizations and meetings and things to do as orgies.... so there goes my dictionary