so its more or less hans looks like this pic for now..


what i feel .. what i felt...
... sluggish, i feel unpretty, i dunno usually what to do what to eat.. basta if i don't like it then i don't like it. i usually look for a place thats calm and peaceful.. no barking dogs, no noisy people(most of the time i don't like nagging people.) .. i hate morning wake ups when hubby would just leave the door open.. ugh.. that i hate lately., and also i still can't sleep well ( you see i sleep most of the time lying on my front, and back flat, ) now i cannot do that.. if i lie on my front as if i can't breathe well and my breast oh my goodness.. BREAST.. my goodness breast! and when i will try lying on my back.. i feel that my tummy is on my neck..(though tummy is not that big, but i just feel like that).. so side lying or head and back is elevated. hmmm very nice.. and that i can drowse me sleep .. no irritating noise.. no slamming opening of door or just plain talking in a high tone. and yes im usually holding on to my patience.
i'm holding on to my patience that is usually i end up with at night. and I pray that i am going to be beautiful! hehheh... that life would still be beautiful for me.. and for all....
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