contemplating man eh.

i happen to browse some people's blogs to the other end... and yes i thought of my part... (reminiscing you call it?) and while reading the blog is that i happen to know we kinda blogmore likely... dots after each sentence, but i know that person's blog is much more of a hmmm what word am i gonna use... what the heck its cute. eheheh and so i compare my work over that blog (to whoever you are!) eheh the dots that connects, and so i have to share his /her blog to you as i dunno if this he'she'l know hehe...i just don't know as i have come across this person (yeah i did i always do!) but too freakin' i dunno whenever the time our paths cross. as i see him he is this too far for me to reach, as i thought of i might be the wrong person or the last person he would flash his sweet smile, though i have happen to see that sweet smile but of course not for me but for his friends, way back in high school ( of which you suddenly realized that tis blog is about the person i know during my hiogh school days!) tanga mo kaya! segi pa read! but anyway what the heck as i would want to continue my blog time about this person, he is big, not so big but big!! i know so little of him, but i think as like any other person, he has ll the goodside and the badside, all i see in him at a distant and how i have rad his blog is this kind heart, a human being who is wanting to make life a little bit easier for us all, a little less complicated one person's thought(and that is you!) about making life less miserable, less complicated ... so he tries to understand all his adversities of others and at the same time trying to cooperate in one section where he could be destined from one duty place to another. he is a med intern, he is good as far as i have known him, he is big with a soft heart and soft body( heeheh) he my tabby boy when i was in high school, i dunno if he knew then that i got a crush on him ( and so now i realized that fats and whites and big person are my likes in physical form!) as they give much of comfort and a great big hug when im down! --me thinks he won't be reading this. but then if he will., then la ta mahimo sina eh no?... so there it goes. i have heard lots about him about what happen to his life, and he has a younger sister. they are so cute. they love each other dearly and thats truth that even him could not deny the fact... i think... he is weird to others ( he said so) others perceives him as suplado and snobbish and weird and all the unthinkable people might think of him, but on top of it all he is just being him and wanting to reach out for something and that is to care perhaps not much of a people can be aware of that, though i cannot hate those person who think about him as like whatever to them since i know nothing of them, but then when it comes to this person i knew at distant he is juts trying to be good, and trying to make life a little less mesirable, is just plain big fat guy, trying to make his way to medical studies, he si good, plain and way very simple as far as i have knwon him since the time i was in high school, when those time he was one of the boss of the platoon. ahem. and that does it for him. after all he is just like one of the person i would want to bump into movie houses, catching the first flicks... wednesday movie goers... and he is just the type of aperson who sits and watch and relax! eheheh... go! MG..... i salute you for all your dreams.... and will be mysteriously idolize you for the perseverance! and will always be happy for whatever life leads you to. and will be most happy. the missing link!

one fine day - in the life of Marilou

i was just like sitting trying to let the time pass ... clockwatching as my friend jason would sung... and then i saw my love... staring at me and i took my camera and took the best shot ever caught in the act of staring at me... and then i felt the relief of knowing how much he wanted me so much...


and then i have no time and that i have to move and i that i have to leave him and so i left ... i walked through the footwalk and then all of a sudden i felt that someone is following me... and again i have to be prepared as the footwalk is not that secured area... and when i looked back.. there i paused and a releif and a deep breath and that my senses are coming on i saw my love again... he is sooo into me... and then i took again my camera and took a picture of him catching the momentous time of him so into me again..... those eyes... those face that i want to touch...


and so there ... the time i feel so into him.....

one fine day in the life of theresa --- marilou!

its the only thing

i guess the title is suppose to be like the in betweens... but then what the heck. im kinda in confusion over these thoughts that hunted me while i was having a pee over the thought of why men doesn't care?

first the idea came is when like last night am aboutt o go home, and then i have to ride the scooter( i am a scootrista i think! and so is my bf!)its drizzling... like okey i thought of my self that we have to equipped ourselves incase of a sudden rainfall as in rainfall... but bf did not mind as to him it was not going to pour hard on us... and so we scoot, but for me i have this heavy heart as if i was neglected, i was never taken cared of... like hey baby you need to use this raincoat or poncho so as not to get wet since its hard when you get sick. bit he didn't. so was like biting my lip of two feelings hating his guts and not feelinmg what i feel, i feel neglected and thought of this is the outcome of too hard and too self reliant. and that sometimes people forgot that you too need a simple hug and simple take care f yourself. and for that i now understood that my bf is one of those person who is juts like " she can take care of ehrself, she's big and strong and old enough to decide on what is right"... but to us womens, girls.. we still need that. at the end of the day we long for that i long for that... and when the time comes that i have to remind him that hey im a woman and i need a man to stand infront of me when im down and kinda depressed to make me feel loved and i iknow i deserve that. why do always have to plead for that?

it just popped in my brain

okey i was with BF at ace hardware, and then i get to do some pa tweetumns effect.... and then all of a sudden i saw this kinda what i've been looking for, and then bang! SSF came to mind and thought he mightlove this, and so i bought it, like i got to have two since the other one im going to give it to SSF so yep i grabbed two of the thing its called actually stylish comfortable mosquito net... but the catch is the design not the regular rectangle one and its like medieval type .... huh! and then okey texted SSF if he would love to have one ... so he said no... after a long exchange of text, for some reasons that is reasonable to him and i was kinda like... OMG i think im being scolded for purchasing such not important thing and that it is reality that i get to buy sometimes( all the time) that ends up hmmmm not of some importance. but what the heck, i though of i might use these naman siguro, so thats it, and then when he told me that dengue is kinda grabeh, hmmm never thought of that too as for i thought of the idea as giving it... so since i was exed by this idea so its okey, i think im beginning to have this attitude if you don't want it then its okey, if you do??? much better, but i can go by that idea of refusing man.... hehehe but then there comes a time that hah! im just quick at grabbing things like... i get to reat them and i love looking at them not just them ha... to others also, it makes my heart leap ( the feeling of excitement in between heartbeats!) i like the idea of the feeling in betweens.... its unexplainable... in short... undecided as to what you realy are feeling. hahah... so thats what happens to a mosquito net... -- stylish mosquito net.
and then right after the war of text ( as i may call it heheh) i washed my face with pro-active.. and then put on toner and then the repairing lotion, as i have been thinking of what the heck is going on with my face?.,.. i have been complaining this past few weeks right after the allergy that took me to look like a harrased woman... that i now really need to have that facial thingy, glycolic peel as i have read that it is of fruit extracts, so there i get to ask a friend if she could contact me a home service for that, and then luckily ( it is not supposed to be lucky right?)the girl did not answered as to what reason i dunno, and then thought of calling the aunt of my best seat mate ever.. desi for an appointment but to my cramming thing i always forgot... and so i opt to go for pro active at home, the only thing i don't like is that i will be doing it on my face, i would want someone to do that to me... heheh but then no! none! so thats it,.
but i got a nice lunch over JS and get to talk with life and his vision over his assignment and his idea of not telling others that he is ERAP so thats it, you may call it ego or the other way around... but then i have to respect his decision over that idea, as long as it does not hinders my whatever i stand on and how we deal with each other., he does look good except for the hair that recedes... as like SSF too but more cuter with SSF ... heheh ( allowance ko na!!! jokes!)
and then i get to budge BF of the idea of in yer face thing! like " bf the last time you told me you love me is may 18, 2007, what happen in betweens?... and then i get to ask me self... what happen to me too?.... did i grew tired over that idea of expressing how much i love him?... hmmmm i think i nevr did as i was busy thinking of how can we move to the next level of relationship, and then life's like that sometimes you both get so choked up with the idea of earning money and we tend to forget the idea of what is essential at the end of the day. men are like that
i dunno how SSF, LGA and RBA will agree to this but i bet and im sure that with their lifestyle its like that perhaps, or the very one thing that they would want to do at the end of the day is relax... that they needed there favorite couch, bed, reclined seats, hot milk, cold ice tea or lemonade, a good hearty meal, a bottle of wine or whiskey, scotch on the rocks, a small oderbs ( the french one dunno how to spell it!)or just a plain back massage and a nice conversation over a cigarette and smile and laugh perhaps destressing all the stress... yep... but for us women we tend to wait for them to notice our existence.... ( don't argue most of us! bitch! i do too!) and its kinda frustrating to think that sometims we are being neglected especially if we are too over sure of how the others feel. then we are taken for granted.... can be not true to others but usually it is. hehehe its all up to us women on how flexible can we get.... as for me i can have that priceless attitude over having to put on a cute smile over realizing that i get to be in love with the same person more than twice... and then i know im secured, becuz the bottomline is that's what realy makes me happy. after all only we can make ourselves happy, only we know how to make ourselves happy and only we know whats best and what can makes us happy..... we are just often too dependent on the others. wind it up! i just love living. :)

i just got nothin' here

im stacking up for a much more of a words or literary treat as LGA would call it, but for now i'll pause and will just do something else.... and have thought of humming something out of it.. then perhaps will look after them the time i could be more comfortable in blogging it off.
im quite awed by the feeling so i have to stay with for a while.
i miss you!

one half one half - total of one

okey im partly disable for now... feeling ko lang.. hmmmm maybe becuz of my decision to shut the fuck! things up! das it for that word today.
imagine the thing that kept me up all day is my text messages....
hay naku lenj salamat guid ha sa pag hatag mo sg kahigayunan nga mag text permi sa akun... hihihi la na abi ako textmate te anhun ta ina noh?>.. everybody's busy sometime
for now they are always busy guid iya... heeheh ( baw sounds like toto!)

anyway
i have nothing to blog actually for the sake lang nga daw may obrahun ako at this hour! hahaha... kay di ko gani ka sleep.... know why?.... i dunno.... you know?
i miss there!

splats of neurons!

okey to be exact the time is 1.03am... i just can't sleep for now since i know that i fell like there is a need for me to blog at this wee hour.... i am kinda near to frustraiton over what i've been looking for at SMD - chain for my charm necklace... which i know will look good on this (there oh!) dress im wearing.. see its soo cool.. its a very cute hierloom, and it has a sotry to tell, hmmm
and then i went to oton to visit my aunt';s wake, where my papa did the mass and yes was asked to do the readings... and that was okey since its not like thrice or twice it shall be happening that my aunt will be dead! nyee!!! and then i called up pap bert hay.. i mis ko na guid ang roxas people... thought of going there but i dunno.. im kinda holding back here ah.. daw kabug-at sg tiil ko haw?.. oh my! and then pap bert is busy naman, and i dunno if pap harold has already finsihd editing thoce videos he needs, and then pap lenj of course cannot be there becuz he has tp be with papa bert... see toto is not around... and hmmmm i don't know.. so i thought of asking somebody to come over... " lenj upod ka ky harold sa monday kag tuesday?" but i know that is like 30-70 ratio.. 30 is okey 70 is hmmmm la may ma serve kay papa bert..
hay segi alng ahh... miss ko na kamu.. and even i have been seeing richard lately like thrice in a week na seems that its your company i long for still...
daw ma saot ko sa kahidlaw sa inyo... daw ma sing ako save the best for last... galing theme song ina ni CVD sa akun, dayun theme song pa guid ina sg napatay kuno nga seminarista.. hay te akun ya gusto ko lang kantahun its becuz of the reason akon na lang na ya eh....
and then ahyhhha! next blog ko lang aling baw natuyo n a ako... wala pa si lenj katawag... baw ah.. basi tulog na ato... anywy.. next n alng ang teller bitches ah!!

my heart is telling that tomorrow is a brand new day! it must be faced with high hopes and awareness of how much i am loved and cuddled by God in his loving and perfect embrace... that there are just some reasons that are meant to stay as reasons and needs no argument! hahhah
and now i end up these splat of neurons with....

whatever i have done in this lifetime of mine... i know i never missed... i never missed loving, i never missed kindness and care! the matter of fact i didn't know my heart can do such like that! coming to realize that i am happy !

LGA

met him at NINO's pizzahan at roxas ( the place to be and where the friendships resides!) at first oh well he is this kinda grabeh mag stare kaya, it seems im being stripped off haha.. pero all the while he is soo cool.. and very down to earth... and of course the more i get to know him its like something... connectedness... though the relationship ( as what i call in everything that connects me to one person) is well too young but i am having all the high hopes over this since its either we break or take! the level of maturity of this person is way ... hmmm like me... heheeheh-- we bitch on others especially RB (haahh sorry 'bout that RB) no harm done in anyway as we take all the pleasure of pleasures in doing so becuz we care a lot ( winks!) about you! - - we party as if its like we are a regular college stud! we smoke! hell yeah! ... though i never heard him singing but at least i heard from a source that he sings quite well... not to be compared with HF though since i cannot compare two diffrent persona totally diffrent person of course there would be some instance that they could be alike but no one is alike... hmmm... i can sense that sometimes he does took the time to snoop around ( especially my body... hhhhhh) he does appreciate well the imperfection of natural beauty done by my tatay and nanay in a manner of kinda discreet pero at the same time bongga! like the using the word VOLUPTOUS! its like vavavooom! vavoooom!!! hahah... and then of course he is my ever avid textmate... well he does cover up over the busiest days and no loads and sleepytime of both HF and RA so the reason maybe that he hangs on by texting me... heeheh jokes! and then he is both the epitome of good and bad --- as you may not know --- he serves usually at the mass, from the parish to the remote baranggays of pan-ay and to some other parts of roxas, capiz! --- still he never forgets to textback or cancel my call... at the event yan ha! hahah grabe kaayo it kurba kang utok na! magna cum laude ini no!!! tapos permi lang sya ya presence of mind and body!!! for now mu lang ni anay i think am going to make part two of this.. kay i know some words that gets in my brain for the thoughts of LGA is more of understatements... but like he said there is no understatement understatemen ahhh only underwear!! hahaha he is soo cool!!! and i like his company since there are some connections that binds us both that is still unknown to both of us!

SSHdaF

i am not really interested with this guy at first when i saw him at SJRS( must be spoken with an english twang!) and then i began that interest in him when i saw him play the organ( ngek! the one with the lights that blinks when you touch the keys!) his hands are so smooth.. (ahem! illusionada!) skin so soft and yes chinito -- with a hmmm kinda japanese family name... yeah i have thought of that maybe he is from a japanese descent. so he is cute. period. no more comments whatsoever and yes he would be the always victim whenever i would come and visit or just plain have a breakfast at SPFY- snobbish at first but then oh well the rest is history but as i have come to know him more deeper ( wow ha! deeper!) he is this so damn good to get along with person, though a bitch sometimes but he is so good at it and that he makes things wuite unnusual sometimes that makes you to think that whatever he does he makes it a little bit extra special! and he influenced me more when it comes to music.. yes we have that same thinking though not same since he sings songs like a nightingale! dang!he is sooo good... and very accomodating ever! motto for him?: when you say nothing at all.... though i heard him telling me about my situation with bf the time i went to roxas to meet them since i was in deep gutter shit! he was soo cool, daw ka sister -brother nga story ang iya nga hambal.. yeah empathy is the word... and he does cook well tooo hmmmm very genius ang kurba sg brain... and always on the go for party life! basta may sigarilyo alng kag music... and then a coffee or some sweets for him hum hum hum! thats so harold... and he is this very pa cute with no effort sometimes... plus factor ang attitude nga " ay bay-e da sya ah.... carry ko ito!!" and bungisngis over the tragic moments sometimes... and try not to be caught ... alpha kapal muks! so yes as if i don't know you! or whatever is the bitchyness we both have! yourself! yeah we love that word! there's this something yet to be discover siguro deeper what we have in common that makes us click aside from cooking, music, and chickha over somebody hehehe sorry no but we love bitchin' around .. just for our dessert, but we keep it all in ourlseves! i bet we do!... heheehh and then i love him! heheeh the reason why i want to confess to him over something becuz i know he is this person sometimes the not feeling anything... just give you the ear to listen adn thats it... don't expect anything nice or good or bad or bitch over kay wala ka guid sg mabatian.... and yes he snores very well.... miss that! hehehe in G minor
hmmm i think he is a great dancer! yeah i think the way i look at him sometimes.. when he walks... ( pardon me for snooping with your body language HF but i just can't help it especially when the time that i am mesmerized by your presence! its not just you.. it also happens to RA to LA to JR to RD to RS to MB and to people i care a lot!) i am just sooo clingy when it comes to my circle... hmmm

R-B-A.......

he is this kind of a person whom you just can't imagine could do such nice things and say nicest things both you would appreciate and then coming to realize what is essential. and then coming into conlusion that you haven't notice was just so simple as one two three.... i could say he is as too good to be my confidante but yes he is...
'tis he who usually end up the person i would call or text when im in deep trouble.
he is this also very moraly upright but still waves to some excuses since everything is clean fun and not or even a single thing was taken for granted, with much of presence of mind and very thought of how to manage the idea of mingle and getting to know and knows very well his personal space. and he doesn't mind me just standing there inorder to compose myself in time of my disillusionment over life's idiosyncrasies. he is always there ready to pack things up for me when i feel sooo very deep and way down low... in the midst of trouble not physicaly but more so of emotional... so the feeling is mutual. i would even imagine him (usually kasi he settle things to talk to me on the phone even like after three days or a week of hardship and heart smacking tears i have already shed,, though it still feel hurts and then he would call since i cannot push my time becuz he is busy also,,, but i love it when i just text back and i know he just read all my text messages and then if things are not being very well understood and kinda he may have seen it perhaps that its getting heavier.. he'd call) so he would call and helps me settle it talk to me on the phone ( ten piso per call realy helps! thanks for the time and the ten piso bert! i know its more than the ten piso you bank on me! hehehe)and would even feel the way i am shedding my tears my cracking of voice and helps me to slow down, by the idea of shusshing me ( i can even picture things out like when im talking to him, its like im sitting there and he could transform himself to my counselor and not a friend who empathize, though i know he does, but he always sees that i will get a balance and fair views over the idea and help me manage things, and yes at the end of it all he still ends up my bestie whom i can count on.... anytime of the day... just be patient in waiting though becuz if he is still soo asleep he will.

and when he is not my confidante and we would just talk naturally as friends and we would take the issue of morality and some attitudes and self ... he is this very moraly upright ( taken from the text of LA and voice of SSHF ) he makes sure that everything are just properly inorder and that always feels at heart, though i notice lately he learned the art of SSHF -- bahala na da ah! thats how SSHF would always say when in the middle of crisis, just like let's cross the bridge when we get there... so next is SSHF-- but hey mind you RBA has this attitude of hitting the wound kinda twice sometimes... ( is this the right words im putting in?) ahh figure it out when you meet him ah... but hey he is soo damn good! one of the best person i encountered in my years of existence. that's RBA..... he could shyly smile when he knows that he can't be with me in presence when im in town, he can sweat a lot over a succeeding masses of the day.. or how hectics his day would be, but still end up fulfilled over the day, or how he gets confused over his laptop, or how he would be acting in such situation of like in between got nothing to do... he blushes and that he really appreciate the so called ups and downs that lets us all transforms sometimes into a very not so ordinary person at all.. or not the same person we ought to be... and he would be there to cling to our string and would remind that we need to stay put and settle things as early as possible... my minds getting much more of RBA but i need to start with SSHdaF and LGA ... description!