of being human

last night before i rest my head, i texted my dear friend if its possible to confess..
but to no avail the REPLY menu maybe on his cellphone does not exist that night... or simply "load is not available" or "check operator" message blinks everytime he would try to text me back... whatever... what the heck!
yeah i asked for a confession over a text messages...yes i won't say it here.. as i leave it to that sense in time when i have the time to go there and visit them and have fun with them perhaps before the having fun thing i could tell him, then it won't be confession but its what i call " stripping myself in front of him..." sexy ha?.... oh well i know he should understand coz if he won't.. i'll be doomed! hahaahh so i told the person involved that he should not know but i know that in time he will know man gyapun kay its better that way nga eh... you know i still believe that trying to be honest to some facts about what is going on with me or what i feel or how i feel or what my disposition is well helps a lot in a way of better understanding of the other to the other's attitude during or after or maybe the time.,..... though i must admit that stripping myself to all the fears and all the presumptions sometimes leads me to some hmmmm cracks... and sometimes its better to think about soooo many many times first ... so i know that i have to confess kay daw gina hay ambot ah...." im being bitchy na iya..." the reason i chose harold to tell about this its becuz wala sya ma say.... ( i think!! he usually does nothing to say!) its like talkin' to nobody and helping you purged out whatever pungent situation you have... ehehehe wala siya pakialam... not that he doesn't care.. its his way of telling "you can bitch it on me baby"... ehheh i love him.. though the other is kinda... hmmmm quite balances everything... but this time i know he can't or maybe he won't be in anything mode when i tell him this... heeheh its better not to tell him muna.. eeeeeeeee...... i so want to jump!!! 5feet jump! ehheeheh i love him... its just soo nice to have diff people whom i know when i need them they are just there... diff people who share your diff vision but still respect and understand the way things are and helps you sort out the unfinished business you got in life while living... and still get to enjoy the realities and idosyncrasies out of just anything under whatever weather we all have in to.... and we get to share in the union of belongingness..... though yes i know that there just some time that we just don't want to see other people or purely we avoid others its becuz we are protecting our innerselves... then we have to respect that.. if that time comes that its my time to be avoided.. i have to accept that.. life is not always what i make it... sometimes we have to compromise.... sometimes we have to step back and look at how the world turns and maybe we could join and just let it turn for a new day brings on new hope... new days brings more joys and laughters and maturity comes when you got friends like these..... what else you want in life?... i so cannot eliminate them in my life... missing them... soo wanting to be with them ... under the pouring rain!!!! like children dancing in the rain with no clothes on.....i miss them terribly!